Intimacy: Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting...

By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 953

You deserved it 6 454

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 5 066

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 485

You deserved it 5 317

By cherry - 10/04/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 751

You deserved it 23 896

By pineapple456 - 16/02/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 573

You deserved it 17 987

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 40 478

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 182

You deserved it 12 019

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 996

You deserved it 4 703

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 450

You deserved it 42 552

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 408

You deserved it 6 030

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 043

epoh_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:33

that would have definitely irritated your ******.

xlossofmex 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 12:11

interesting birth control there.

Comments

Nayda_fml 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:10

That's just disgusting.

allyF 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:23

talk about easy and a sock omg r u stupid

HunYoCrazy 0

Friday 29 January 2010 5:43

omg r u 5?

m00sh 0

Friday 24 December 2010 15:44

^ hahaha :)

taycandy96 2

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:31

ewwww u should of just left to the store and came back

xdinasaurzxrawrx 0

Friday 22 January 2010 20:05

EWWWWWW! I hate feet! and that's definately not sanitary OR too good for your ****** OR his ****..... I hope he wasn't serious...

FoundManyLemons 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:33

YDI for not carrying condoms. Also, when it comes to one-night-stands, there's no telling what you'll get.

mha8649 8

Thursday 8 December 2022 14:18

Probably athletes ******?

Nic_hole 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:40

ewwwww!! hahaha

anonymous45610 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:41

uhhm ookay then

happypapp12 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:45

I thought all ***** came with there own condoms ydi for being stupid

iheartjustinsane 0

Wednesday 20 January 2010 13:53

YDI for sleeping with some guy that you just met.

marleyvk 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 2:22

k really? one night stands hun, try it.

emmybabexxx 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 9:30

Not everyone is that skanky love.

Freeze_fml 16

Wednesday 20 January 2010 14:06

Easy **** is easy.

perdix 29

Wednesday 20 January 2010 14:26

What an idiot! "Everyone" knows that for birth control, only the sock on the RIGHT foot works! It's going to be great explaining to your gyno how you got athlete's foot in your camel toe.