Intimacy: Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket...

By lip - 24/12/2008 08:40 - France

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 448

You deserved it 75 801

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Same thing different taste

By fuck the fucking cops - 16/03/2012 18:41 - Belgium

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 895

You deserved it 4 802

You ain't seen me, right

By omgomgomg - 27/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 326

You deserved it 4 202

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 471

You deserved it 12 787

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 312

You deserved it 2 247

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 491

You deserved it 6 859

By grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 598

You deserved it 5 541

Nice try, Sheila

By Mulee - 07/03/2009 12:03 - Belgium

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 387

You deserved it 168 253

By Julie - 31/03/2009 01:43 - Canada

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 395

You deserved it 6 734

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 293

You deserved it 3 316

Locked

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was in a rush and didn't notice that the bathroom stall I chose at work had a broken lock. Halfway through my business, a coworker barged in. We locked eyes for an awkward eternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 77

inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 6:03

"I get off by jerking off in public bathrooms, FML."

banana2022 4

Monday 17 August 2009 0:55

Why would you jack off on a train you ******* weirdo?? That's disgusting, blue balls or not.

Comments

redmonkey224539 9

Friday 27 January 2012 11:30

Who the **** jacks off on public transportYDI

writergirl23 19

Saturday 21 April 2012 8:20

Serves him right for barging in

littlebluepill 1

Saturday 23 June 2012 22:57

I would say F the lives of the ticket inspector and the people waiting in line to go after you - not only did they have to witness that, they have to use the bathroom after you. Surely you can't be that desperate that you can't wait till you get home? Erk.

RyanB1993 5

Wednesday 12 December 2012 22:29

And, you couldn't wait till you got home why?

StingRay_RZA 16

Saturday 5 January 2013 2:12

This is well and truly a new level of low... ******* hell man have some self control!!

Dusksoul2001 13

Wednesday 19 June 2013 17:19

YDI for getting on a train without a ticket . Seriously OP?

OzzmosizDoge 6

Friday 25 July 2014 4:59

Why the **** would you jack off in a train bathroom???

yeemahlifesucks 10

Saturday 25 October 2014 15:59

Today, I was on the train, and I really had to go. It was locked and no one came out for 5min, so I asked for someone to open the door. As he opened it, we found someone wanking. FML

dubravka14 1

Tuesday 23 December 2014 11:55

YDI completely

squeekstir 10

Saturday 16 May 2015 21:50

Today, I had heard odd noises from the train's restroom that I was conducting. It turns out some sicko was jerking off inside! Me and several other passengers had caught eye contact and he didn't even have a ticket...