Intimacy: Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket...

By lip - 24/12/2008 08:40 - France

Today, I was jerking off in the train washroom when the ticket inspector knocked at the door. I was nearly done so I didn't open right away. I didn't think he would have the key…I found myself face to face with him and three other passengers. The worst being I didn't have a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 448

You deserved it 75 813

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Same thing different taste

By fuck the fucking cops - 16/03/2012 18:41 - Belgium

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 4 803

You ain't seen me, right

By omgomgomg - 27/10/2011 21:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a rush and had to get changed in a train restroom. While changing, I leaned against the button that opened the door. Not only do train toilet doors open and close very slowly, leaving you half naked for a few seconds, but everyone in the carriage opposite can see clearly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 329

You deserved it 4 204

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 471

You deserved it 12 789

By ThoroughlyCreepedOut - 07/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 333

You deserved it 2 251

By bridezilla - 05/07/2009 04:12 - Canada

Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 497

You deserved it 6 861

By grossgross - 26/09/2009 18:21 - United States

Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 608

You deserved it 5 544

Nice try, Sheila

By Mulee - 07/03/2009 12:03 - Belgium

Today, I had to run to catch my train, so I didn't have time to buy a ticket. When I was the conductor, he was a young man so I opened my top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine. When I told him I hadn't bought a ticket he said, "Do your top up, I'm gay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 389

You deserved it 168 265

By Julie - 31/03/2009 01:43 - Canada

Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 405

You deserved it 6 734

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 299

You deserved it 3 316

Locked

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 06:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I was in a rush and didn't notice that the bathroom stall I chose at work had a broken lock. Halfway through my business, a coworker barged in. We locked eyes for an awkward eternity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 79

inlimbo11 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 6:03

"I get off by jerking off in public bathrooms, FML."

banana2022 4

Monday 17 August 2009 0:55

Why would you jack off on a train you ******* weirdo?? That's disgusting, blue balls or not.

Comments

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 17:22

dude ur a f'ing dumbass on a train?? seriously???!!!???

treesdevin 0

Monday 1 February 2010 3:50

fuckk I know...shoulda had that ticket..lol

fatalkiss 0

Monday 8 March 2010 5:20

lmfao ^ I clicked YDI after I read the first couple words

kaykaypopz 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 15:01

which is why wanking in a public place is never a good idea

12stargirl 0

Thursday 1 April 2010 6:50

what the heck #1???

tayajayne 0

Monday 5 April 2010 9:54

you are scum!!!!

niregorf 0

Thursday 15 April 2010 8:57

that's just retarded, on a train...that's just gross

eehizle 0

Monday 3 May 2010 23:30

I never realized how sexy those seductive train rides are.

mzash96 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 6:00

wtf!! sooo many things are wrong with this fml!!!!

theset3 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 19:46

ur nasty

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Today, my loving but absent-minded father gave me a packet of ham for my birthday, which would be pretty shit even if I hadn't been a strict vegetarian for the last 27 years. FML

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You deserved it 716

Today, my husband wants to leave me because I’m “taking too long” to recover from my C-section and he’s “tired of jerking off.” His logic is that he recovered in 6 weeks after he got 12 stitches on his leg, and, “I’ll be fine.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 172

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 543

You deserved it 3 838

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 048

You deserved it 3 500

Today, my parents watched a horror movie with some creepy child in it. Apparently, I sound just like that kid when I call for my mom, so now she doesn't want me to call her mom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 205

You deserved it 791

Today, I was sitting on my boyfriend's lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said, "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 990

You deserved it 4 892

Same thing different taste

You ain't seen me, right

Nice try, Sheila

Locked

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