Animals: Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I...

By mhmohyeah - 10/11/2009 23:05 - United States

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 776

You deserved it 18 471

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/07/2012 07:35 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 19 244

By lbg2msf - 06/11/2013 18:08 - United States - Biloxi

Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 848

You deserved it 9 501

By craphanded - 19/07/2011 17:45 - United Kingdom

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 789

You deserved it 9 202

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 00:54 - United States

Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 3 127

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 558

You deserved it 61 972

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 384

You deserved it 1 121

Don't call the cops

By Elizabeth - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 609

You deserved it 27 135

By killer - 17/07/2010 14:54 - United States

Today, I was outside when a mouse ran toward my feet. There was a wall behind me, so I tried to jump over him. He changed course, and I landed on him. It crunched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 838

You deserved it 8 117

Alas, poor Kermit

By traumatizedforlife - 05/08/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 6 804

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 098

You deserved it 1 960

perdix 29

Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:59

It was a defenseless, little bird in need of help . . . until you crushed it to death. Birds are the descendants of dinosaurs. Sweet dreams.

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 2:37

What are you, 7 and blind?

Comments

MnBran6 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 15:16

I guess you could say... That Bird... *puts shades on* Just flew the coop. YYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAAA

erikjg82489 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 17:42

how do you get a bird confused with a leaf??? your a retard.

Craze_fan 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 19:21

i hope we all appreciate the irony of people who say "your a retard" instead of "you're a retard" And it depends on what kind of bird, how big it was, and how many leaves surrounded it. A small brown bird, nestled among a group of dead leaves and unmoving; sounds like pretty good camouflage to me.

Atamix 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:14

Win ^_^

PhillyFox 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 19:49

You stepped on a dead bird and now your life is ******? Wow. What a sheltered life you must live.

NoneOfTheAbove 0

Wednesday 11 November 2009 23:58

HAHAHA I DID THAT ONCE!

Amortifiedperson 0

Thursday 12 November 2009 4:01

My mom looked over my shoulder when I was reading this FML. She remembered when she stepped, barefoot, on a dead baby mole that our cat left for us... And then described how the guts spewed through her toes... Lovely...