Intimacy: Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 13:00 - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 5 871

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Same thing different taste

Superfreak

By callie - 18/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 957

You deserved it 6 644

By Sexy Rash - 21/02/2014 23:26 - Australia - Wallgrove

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 621

You deserved it 8 342

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 35 394

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 764

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 170

You deserved it 36 796

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 4 708

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 3 107

WTF?

By Shane - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 237

You deserved it 32 634

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 957

You deserved it 4 013

BroSkii69 8

Monday 1 November 2010 19:06

OH YEAAAH BABY SCRATCH THAT LEG REEEAAAL GOOD ******* face*

NeedAHaircut 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:23

When will kids these days learn. when your parents walk in on you masturbating always follow 2 simple steps: 1. Look them right in the eyes 2. Finish masturbating. they will never walk in your room without knocking again

Comments

Peytonlikesme 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:03

1stcommenet!!!! Wooo!!! Sucks 4 u dude

RebelHeart7 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:04

********** is healthy

ballistic 2

Monday 1 November 2010 22:14

good.. the b*tch should learn to knock first

LightningLadyy 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:27

#2 speak very well English

jewban 3

Tuesday 2 November 2010 5:06

yeah apparently you lose15 calories or so everytime you ****** :D

resinnet 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 18:11

32, your english is no better

BethiiGeex 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 23:34

Very good.

capslockisgood 19

Tuesday 23 October 2012 2:49

50 - Thats the joke.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Monday 1 November 2010 19:06

You could try to explain, but I get the feeling she might not believe you. At least she let you carry on with your business even when she thought you were masturbating. :P My mom once awkwardly and randomly said that she doesn't approve of that...

BroSkii69 8

Monday 1 November 2010 19:06

OH YEAAAH BABY SCRATCH THAT LEG REEEAAAL GOOD ******* face*

ijustlaugh 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:11

haha nice xD oh and lovely name.

taylorr14 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:07

haha that would be embarrassing

ruben_A_ruiz 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:19

ask her to wash your beddings after

NeedAHaircut 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:23

bachooka 5

Monday 1 November 2010 19:26

^^^ win win win! win times infinity!

dannycoyne 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 7:19

hahahahaha

Fireflies94 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 0:56

hahah. XD

blake50023 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 6:43

great skots Marty that just mike work

zaveeshaveesh3 7

Wednesday 3 October 2012 3:13

This made me shit my pants lol

FaberDriveLuv 5

Monday 1 November 2010 19:28

Lol, damnn

CallMeHush 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:28

It's OK to admit it. Everyone with a hand has been caught or almost caught by mom. If not they are so boring that they don't even want to have sex with themselves.