Intimacy: Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 13:00 - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 5 871

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Same thing different taste

Superfreak

By callie - 18/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 957

You deserved it 6 644

By Sexy Rash - 21/02/2014 23:26 - Australia - Wallgrove

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 621

You deserved it 8 342

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 35 394

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 764

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 170

You deserved it 36 796

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 4 708

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 3 107

WTF?

By Shane - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 237

You deserved it 32 634

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 957

You deserved it 4 013

BroSkii69 8

Monday 1 November 2010 19:06

OH YEAAAH BABY SCRATCH THAT LEG REEEAAAL GOOD ******* face*

NeedAHaircut 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:23

When will kids these days learn. when your parents walk in on you masturbating always follow 2 simple steps: 1. Look them right in the eyes 2. Finish masturbating. they will never walk in your room without knocking again

Comments

xStarrFeeshLovsY 0

Monday 1 November 2010 21:11

aww...srry just explain...Explaining always mkes it betta!!!!! ;D lmfao

AssDan 0

Monday 1 November 2010 21:30

Whip it out and chase her out of the room with it.

jitterbug25 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 20:52

hahahhahahah SUPER WIN^^^^:D

SCBeauty1983 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:10

They call them 'door locks' for a reason...

kennaem1 11

Friday 16 November 2012 3:30

Some people don't HAVE locks on their doors. I don't.

robj118 10

Monday 1 November 2010 22:13

What the ****, this is EXACTLY like the FML where the person was petting their cat under the covers and someone walked in on them and thought they were playing with themselves. How about you post an FML that isnt a twist of another persons, dumb ******* OP

FYLDeep 25

Monday 1 November 2010 22:43

lying in bed*

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:18

OP, get some Campho-Phenique. It's amazing on itchy skin. Just make sure you only use it for scratching, and not "scratching."

DeathHead 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 1:40

mom should have joined.

Zebidee 8

Tuesday 2 November 2010 3:40

You got this the wrong way round. This is the version you were meant to send your mother. Right now she's reading a post that says "Today, my Mom walked in on me frantically rubbing one out, but I totally lied and said I was scratching an itch. I'm not sure if she bought it or not. FML."

chooch556 0

Tuesday 2 November 2010 6:43

yell Im not finished yet mom! and make the *fap fap fap * sound under the sheet and also yell take a picture it will last longer!. in all seriousness, what is the mom doing out of the kitchen.