Intimacy: Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 13:00 - United States

Today, I was laying in bed with the covers over me, when I got an itch on my leg. It felt really good to scratch it so I got really into it. At that very moment my mom walked in, saw me doing a back and forth motion under the covers, gave me a look of disgust, and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 939

You deserved it 5 871

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Same thing different taste

Superfreak

By callie - 18/06/2011 06:08 - United States

Today, I got some really bad mosquito bites on the outside of my thighs. They itched, and my jeans prevented me from scratching them, so I unbuttoned my pants, stuck my down my leg and started scratching. My mom walked in, and won't believe I wasn't masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 957

You deserved it 6 644

By Sexy Rash - 21/02/2014 23:26 - Australia - Wallgrove

Today, the rash on my thigh started itching again. I felt good after a vigorous scratch, but the relief did not extend to my roommate, who only saw me at my laptop with my hand moving up and down in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 621

You deserved it 8 342

Quick thinking

By me. - 29/10/2011 04:43 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me masturbating. All I could say was, "Uh, I had an itch…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 046

You deserved it 35 394

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 764

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 170

You deserved it 36 796

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 529

You deserved it 62 912

By Rissa Warrington - 09/03/2012 08:30 - Canada

Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 4 708

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 546

You deserved it 3 107

WTF?

By Shane - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 237

You deserved it 32 634

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 957

You deserved it 4 013

BroSkii69 8

Monday 1 November 2010 19:06

OH YEAAAH BABY SCRATCH THAT LEG REEEAAAL GOOD ******* face*

NeedAHaircut 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:23

When will kids these days learn. when your parents walk in on you masturbating always follow 2 simple steps: 1. Look them right in the eyes 2. Finish masturbating. they will never walk in your room without knocking again

Comments

AssDan 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:45

It does look awkward though when you are caught "scratching your leg" with the 20" black rubber fist.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Monday 1 November 2010 19:50

Who gets "really into" scratching their leg? Sure it feels good... but that's a little too strong of a reaction IMO.

stronghand0331 17

Monday 1 November 2010 20:25

The person who wasn't really scratching their leg..

WarmedIce 0

Monday 1 November 2010 22:39

I do...if it's a scratch that's been bothering me for a bit.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Tuesday 2 November 2010 0:08

Lulz, I have been known to do a little moaning and groaning while scratching mosquito bites. I'm ridiculously sensitive to them, so they swell up and bruise. A good scratch is definitely, um, relieving! ;)

5t3ff1k4h 44

Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:55

21 - I interpreted this FML to mean OP was scratching their leg, got really into it as Jane and the other poster have shown people do, and their mother caught them and assumed the worst... just like it says. Jane - I see your point, but I'm picturing OP getting so into it they appear to be orgasming... I can't imagine anyone going that far. ;)