Animals: Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding...

By Anonymous - 29/11/2011 16:15 - United States

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 544

You deserved it 27 324

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

That's the power of love

By Sorry kitty - 15/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I tried to pet my cat. By doing so, I accidentally shocked her with the static electricity in my fingers, and she slashed my face in retaliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 178

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 277

Stuck in the middle

By Mark - 20/03/2017 08:00 - United States - Sparks

Today, while I was vacuuming, my cat got scared and tripped me. I landed on the vacuum handle between my legs. Not walking too well right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 696

You deserved it 568

By ambushcat - 06/07/2012 03:31 - United States

Today, I was messing with my cat by moving my hand around under the sheets to make it look like a mouse, making him pounce at it. Without thinking, I brought my hand up to scratch my nose and was immediately attacked by flailing claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 514

You deserved it 28 635

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

By time to buy a gun - 02/11/2015 04:22 - United States - Carolina

Today, I was upstairs with my wife when I heard my cat scream from the porch downstairs. I ran down to find her "puffed up" and growling on the floor, and a corner of the screen next to the door busted out. I still have no idea what caused it and my wife is now afraid to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 033

You deserved it 1 698

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 107

You deserved it 4 973

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 363

You deserved it 575

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 06:00 - United States - Pittsford

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 500

Revenge will be sweet

By Kitty at my foot - 20/09/2022 13:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 436

yrkamurka 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:33

Flying pussy

dinosaurfeces 4

Wednesday 30 November 2011 0:34

Sounds like a "cat"astrophe.

Comments

_MissyJennifer_ 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 2:38

Poor wittle kitty D: ;)

DrDilllonReese 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:22

Read your comment again. Analyze it. Tell us how dumb you now feel.

WaSiSimiLang 8

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:35

Reese, who are u referring to?

babygrl339515 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:40

Hahahahah smack your sister for that

SamanthaThe1st 22

Wednesday 6 July 2016 7:47

Why? She tripped over something, she probably didn't mean to.

graham11 14

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:40

I throw my cat up in the air sometimes. Sayin ayy-ohh baby let go!

DrDilllonReese 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 3:58

That guy above me...

DrDilllonReese 12

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:03

His syllable count was off. I don't approve.

tcxox 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:16

You can't just throw your cat in the air lol NO EXCUSES

traviemojo 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:29

Here comes Mr. Fuzzywuzzy... Ohh shit not again! Mom get the neosporin!!

brittanyb96 0

Wednesday 30 November 2011 4:43

Follow me on twitter! Brittanyb96 / Brittany Bentley! :)

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Health Awkward Dentist Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Clothes Work Job interview Miscellaneous Weird Family Holidays Vacation AITA Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Money

The Top

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 549

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 272

You deserved it 3 976

The Top

Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 570

You deserved it 6 316

Today, I walked over to join a group of friends and heard them talking about how hot some guy was but how ugly his sister was. I asked who they were talking about and there was an awkward silence, they hadn't realized I was there. Apparently, they were talking about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 942

You deserved it 3 266

Today, I was told that I may die by the time I'm 30, and that I should Google the disorder because he doesn't know what it is for sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 148

You deserved it 3 459

Today, I went to the hairdresser and changed my hairstyle drastically. It wasn't until she was nearly done that she said, "I just KNEW this style wasn't going to suit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 036

You deserved it 282

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 257

You deserved it 9 097

Today, I found out my dog is allergic to all forms of animal. His new vegetarian food is $90 a bag, and he refuses to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 357

You deserved it 1 105

Same thing different taste

That's the power of love

Surprise!

Stuck in the middle

Revenge will be sweet

Top comments

Comments