Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of... - FML

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By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 564

You deserved it 4 647

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Same thing different taste

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 329

You deserved it 2 677

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Spicy

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 261

You deserved it 7 006

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 928

You deserved it 4 101

By hahanosirr - 21/05/2011 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 096

You deserved it 6 125

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 669

You deserved it 9 682

Cramped

By chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 837

You deserved it 13 379

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 466

You deserved it 5 225

Oh hey how are you?

By Shelly - 13/06/2011 02:50 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I pulled over to have sex in his mother's car. It was going great until I leaned back onto the horn, waking up our whole neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 085

You deserved it 46 239

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 439

You deserved it 1 419

By rindawg - 20/01/2009 03:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 115

You deserved it 7 151

Next

Top comments

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!

perdix 29

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

Comments

jpgray1982 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:31

I don't know if that is good or bad... Seahorses rule!

robotiick7 23

Friday 31 May 2013 12:11

Gold team rules!

ROFLsyrup 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:33

so? that's awesome.

MegMM 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:33

... don't get it. am I missing something?

Intrepidity 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:35

That's probably because you smell like fish down there.

perdix 29

Monday 25 January 2010 16:41

What a crazy, random simile! What does that even mean? Does he want to be pregnant with your babies? Pack on a few more pounds and he'll compare you to a sea cow. Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

flgirlwguitar 2

Monday 25 January 2010 16:54

Epic win. OP, what's the problem? Guys are seldom the most articulate. Besides, seahorses are cool.

Lee002 8

Tuesday 26 January 2010 3:53

Hugh Manatee = epically hilarious

v1kt4r 13

Monday 25 January 2010 16:42

has any of u seen a sea horse??? http://library.thinkquest.org/5512/seahorse.gif to stress for the slow trains, that was not a compliment, doesnt make it an FML tho, lose weight

happyhak 5

Monday 25 January 2010 16:48

...And?

boopityboppity 11

Monday 25 January 2010 16:53

On the plus side, at least if you decide to have children together, he'll be the pregnant one.

anela_fml 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:53

what the heck lol first off sea horses are small an I don't get I

afarr 0

Monday 25 January 2010 17:10

wha?

Cartain 0

Monday 25 January 2010 16:55

So?

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The Top

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

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You deserved it 3 248

Today, my parents got a new dog. It attacks me every time I laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 710

You deserved it 3 681

The Top

Today, I was on a video call with my boss and some clients. Everything was going smoothly until my 3-year-old son walked in wearing my wife’s high heels and started running circles around me, yelling, “Look at me, I’m a queen!” My boss and clients were visibly confused, and all I could do was laugh nervously, and hope it'll never be mentioned again. FML

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You deserved it 146

Today, I was so hungry that my mouth started watering during a dog food commercial. FML

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You deserved it 289

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 210

You deserved it 3 638

Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that I deserved to be punished. He didn’t fine me, instead he sent me to the naughty step for five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 185

Today, I requested to have my own room at a hotel instead of sharing with everyone else, and I was called an inconsiderate diva. The reason is that after eating anything, my stomach makes such loud and disgusting noises that no one would be able to sleep, but I’m too embarrassed to say that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 198

Today, I got another in a year-long string of threatening letters about my late mother's credit card bill. I've called the credit company repeatedly to settle the account, but they won't talk to me because I'm not authorized to access it. Hope they have a Ouija board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 003

You deserved it 495