Transportation: Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing...

By apparentlyawomanbeater - 20/04/2012 21:48 - Switzerland - Cadempino

Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 030

You deserved it 3 108

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Same thing different taste

Gross

By clips - 16/02/2011 21:08 - United States

Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 948

You deserved it 2 597

Nutshot

By DanJames24 - 10/06/2021 21:01 - United Kingdom

Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 76

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 942

You deserved it 61 823

By Anonymous - 06/12/2013 18:15 - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 206

You deserved it 3 009

Family jewels

By DanJames24 - 05/06/2020 14:00

Today, while on the bus, I had to stand as all the seats were taken. I was standing behind a group of small girls who were messing around with their bags. As they were swinging them, one hit me square in the nuts with her elbow. The girl said, “Wise up, I hardly touched you.” I missed my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 726

You deserved it 186

By mitchellcrawford - 31/05/2016 18:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 070

You deserved it 10 144

Sharing is caring

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 09:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a large woman with what seemed like the flu came to sit beside me. After snorting hideously for five minutes, she picked up her scarf, blew her nose into it, and dropped it. It fell on my lap. When I stood up to leave the bus, there were streaks of snot on my new skirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 241

You deserved it 3 091

Speed 3

By ihatewasps - 30/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 574

You deserved it 206

By Anonymous - 23/08/2012 16:14 - United States - Clarksburg

Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 762

You deserved it 1 953

Flustered

By Sara Princess - 09/04/2023 02:00

Today, as I was about to get onto the bus, my bus pass fell out of my hands. Being in a rush, I barely picked it up from the street not having a good grasp of it, just to have it fall again as I was about to swipe it. It felt like the whole bus was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 218

lokang 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 1:23

What a bitch~! she hit ur palm with her face... Does it still hurt??

DocBastard 38

Saturday 21 April 2012 1:25

Lies! Just admit that you slapped her for stealing your seat in the first place.

Comments

fuckmebutdontfml 16

Saturday 21 April 2012 1:56

That was all a part of the fly's plot to annoy you

Tsunami87 17

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:11

That there is a happy slap. It's natural to make up a story about a fly to alleviate your guilt.

ewiekiwi 8

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:19

At least it wasn't her ass haha

Awsumuzzie 12

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:20

I hope you got Jackie Chan's autograph while you were at it!

Awsumuzzie 12

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:53

Weep for the present, because I'm not from the future, I'm sending it here and now. Besides, it was a fail joke written like that by purpose.

ElricMustang 23

Saturday 21 April 2012 3:40

Sure it was on purpose... O.o

Awsumuzzie 12

Saturday 21 April 2012 3:42

You think my fingers have a mind of their own too!? Glad it's not just me...

ElricMustang 23

Saturday 21 April 2012 3:49

Each of my fingers have a mind of their own.

Killer_fel 15

Saturday 21 April 2012 3:55

You have f*cked up fingers!

Awsumuzzie 12

Saturday 21 April 2012 4:38

Oh, they fu*k up a lot of "things" ;)

Darcon 8

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:34

Did she dieded? I hope OP explainded themselvez b4 they getted fighted against

ClosetTroll 10

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:36

I sure died a little after reading this.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:50

I weep for the future...

kzxvazure 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:36

I don't hit flies, I find them too gross to hit

TheyCallMeNene 4

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:47

Should've had a V8.

alicekittykatt 0

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:49

Ooo that sucks sorry OP :(

Klug_fml 7

Saturday 21 April 2012 2:51

You should've just accused her of something completely absurd after the fact and just make everyone think you're crazy.

Darcon 8

Saturday 21 April 2012 3:26

OP should have fighted her

Keywords

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The Top

Today, the communications expert I'm forced to work with added the line "as they can catch bigger fishes" to a film script. She does not believe me when I tell her that the plural of fish is "fish." This idiot not only has the final word, she makes twice what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 943

You deserved it 4 466

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 3 942

The Top

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 375

You deserved it 3 577

Today, my parents had me pet-sitting their cats again, since they were going to be gone all day. I noticed their oven was on and wanted to turn it off, but when I do they always yell at me because they "had plans for dinner." This time however, they yelled at me for NOT turning it off, because they'd already ate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 100

Today, it was report card day at swimming lessons. Because it was the last day, a little girl brought me flowers. She was the only kid in that class who didn't pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 180

You deserved it 4 100

Today, I came out to one of my best friends as non-binary, and told him (with their permission) that some of our friends were trans. He told us that we were all idiots and refuses to accept us. We've known him since 3rd grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 630

Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 915

You deserved it 9 349

Today, I was snuggled in bed with my husband. He thought because my butt was twitching that I was trying to be frisky. So he slapped my ass hard in attempt to get something going. I was actually trying to hold in a huge fart because last night I had diarrhea. Apparently I still have it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 799

You deserved it 3 945

Same thing different taste

Gross

Nutshot

Fire hose

Family jewels

Sharing is caring

Speed 3

Flustered

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