Animals: Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge...

By Puppysit88 - 16/04/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 846

You deserved it 9 080

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Same thing different taste

Top of the mornin' to ya!

By Anonymous Taco Man - 03/08/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 105

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 279

Splat!

By Anonymous - 11/05/2020 14:00

Today, I have a case of diarrhea. How did I find out? I got startled by my dog jumping up to greet me, and I shat all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 214

Puppy training

By doggone - 05/05/2012 23:07 - United States - King Of Prussia

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 995

You deserved it 34 934

It's a doggy dog world

By Patrick - 14/10/2012 04:39 - United States - Sulphur

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 685

You deserved it 4 080

Help!

By ukfan - 06/10/2010 16:01 - United States

Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 570

You deserved it 5 080

Peaky Bladders

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house, dying to pee during a thunderstorm. Ran to the bathroom, but it was occupied. A huge thunderclap scared me pretty bad. When the door finally opened, my girlfriend's mom walked out, laughing. I realized the thunder scared me into peeing my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 460

You deserved it 453

By sandra - 20/09/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 728

You deserved it 3 121

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 619

You deserved it 2 847

By missmisfit - 13/06/2012 04:14 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I gave my puppy a treat for finally doing his business in the grass instead of on the patio. He later puked it up all over the patio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 050

You deserved it 3 326

jp11692 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:23

hahah ew that sucks. poor puppy :(

lilacwords 0

Friday 17 April 2009 1:20

Aww, I'm sorry. At least you didn't have it, yourself!

Comments

jaded110 0

Friday 17 April 2009 4:16

Aww, poor puppy. :(

Ohnoitslindsay 0

Friday 17 April 2009 4:20

#37 Why was your dog outside in a thunderstorm?

laxitup 1

Friday 17 April 2009 4:27

hahahahaah at #36 poor thing you were only trying to comfort it though, you didnt know any better fyl and fhl

propelks09 0

Friday 17 April 2009 4:37

ew i had a dog pee on me once but this is far worse

inerdablanket 4

Friday 17 April 2009 4:42

#15- Tonitrophobia

jakkal 0

Friday 17 April 2009 4:56

YDI. You should know better than to let a freaked out dog sit on your lap that's a thunderclap away from being scared shitless ;)

darkimmortal777 6

Friday 17 April 2009 5:00

awww poor puppy =) lol thats funny!

Futt_Buck 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:05

In Soviet Russia, pet sits on you!

Stateoflimbo 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:11

WIN RUSSIA!! No, is Soviet Russia pet ***** you!! =P #68, do I know you?!

fcuk_mylife 0

Friday 17 April 2009 5:19

HAHAHAHAHA this is hilariousssss

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The Top

Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 066

You deserved it 125

Today, there was a long queue at the store, and behind me were two senior citizens. I wanted to do a good deed, so I said, "Cut before me in line, I have all the time in the world." My reward? The old man scolded me because I supposedly insinuated that they were old, and only had a short time left to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 423

You deserved it 13 444

The Top

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 092

You deserved it 40 037

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 228

You deserved it 3 936

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 897

You deserved it 5 410

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 182

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 692

You deserved it 6 404

Today, I went to the Doctors and the nurse asked if I was married, in which I responded "yes". Then she asked if I was sexually active... "no". FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 090

You deserved it 10 633