Love: Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 203

You deserved it 78 627

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Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 276

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 198

You deserved it 124 239

By awkward23 - 12/01/2010 10:26 - United States

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 985

You deserved it 42 526

Tricked

By Dannnn - 10/06/2021 10:59

Today, I met a super gorgeous girl at the bar. We laughed together over drinks and it was all perfect, until she told me she wasn’t from this town. We hugged goodbye and she left. When I went to pay our tab, I realized I’d been pickpocketed by her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 20/07/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 617

You deserved it 13 577

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 695

You deserved it 43 472

By Maria - 20/08/2012 13:25 - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, a stranger came up to me with a flirty smile, greeted me by my name, and asked if I remembered him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't remember, so I asked him to tell me. He promptly left with a disappointed look. He was the most gorgeous person I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 824

You deserved it 7 680

By clubber - 04/11/2008 04:16 - Switzerland

Today, I was in a nightclub with my girlfriend when a beautiful woman looked at me in the most provocative way. I didn't want to upset my girlfriend, so I escaped to the bar. When I came back, I saw the same girl making out with my girlfriend. Maybe I wasn't the one she was looking at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 318

You deserved it 9 042

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 18:57 - Canada

Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 648

You deserved it 13 129

By Anonymous - 07/02/2011 11:43 - Australia

Today, I was walking to the shops when I saw my friend about 10 metres in front of me, waiting at the traffic lights, by herself. Jokingly, I shouted out "Who's that really ugly person waiting at the lights?" The girl turned around. It wasn't my friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 950

You deserved it 45 198

Next

Top comments

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Friday 17 April 2009 16:03

maybe she left because you were onto her secret plans and clever tricks

f_this_noise 0

Friday 17 April 2009 16:06

youre an idiot

Comments

Bobby64 29

Friday 22 July 2011 19:40

Don't worry. Rumor has it there are other beautiful women out there, OP.

Zotti17 0

Sunday 18 September 2011 4:52

Maybe she was like 'oh shit, how'd he know?' And in panic, left the bar...

santasadiekins 0

Saturday 24 September 2011 2:45

You should have gone after her you dolt

ferbie 0

Tuesday 29 November 2011 1:31

Forever alone....

eatsleepjb 8

Tuesday 20 December 2011 17:40

Haha your a dumbass.

ChocolateScyther 19

Friday 3 October 2014 6:08

Idiot!

thefmlman2011 36

Tuesday 16 December 2014 21:57

Plot Twist: She's a prostitute.

crazy_loner 25

Wednesday 10 June 2015 8:13

That must be killing you.. I'm so sorry OP. FYL

MrNiceGuy569 18

Wednesday 15 July 2015 2:35

One word: Jackass

emmalovely1221 4

Tuesday 18 April 2017 23:41

Awh :(

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 513

You deserved it 5 324

Today, I saw an e-mail notification for my husband regarding a flight to New York this Wednesday. Thanksgiving is on Thursday and we have no relatives in New York. When I asked him about it, he confessed that he’s gonna see a lady he met online and that he wants a divorce. I’m due to give birth next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, sleep-deprived and thinking I tolerated my low dose of diabetes medication Metformin well, I upped my dose like the bottle said to. My asshole has yet to forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 155

Today, I got my first tattoo. I felt good about it, until I told my mom, who was not happy. She responded by taking me out of her car insurance policy, family plan, and charging me for rent every month since I, "wanna be all grown up now.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 887

You deserved it 695

Today, I started recording my piano exam pieces to submit, and I was proud at my interpretation that I spent time trying to make it sound good. That was until my tutor walked in and said I had "shit rhythm and ass intonation." My mom was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 102

Today, I received a phone call from my 91-year-old grandpa. He was lost driving somewhere in my town. I then spent the next few hours trying to teach him how to send his location until his phone died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 044

You deserved it 773

Today, I have found the Holy Grail of fast food ordering. You will never be disappointed: when they say, “May I take your order?” Say, “Yes surprise me, and please charge me for something that will never make it to the bag.” Your order will always be perfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 293

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 637

You deserved it 3 855