Transportation: Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit...

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 433

You deserved it 49 769

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Same thing different taste

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 973

You deserved it 2 662

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 9 980

Thorn in my side

By CantPublish - 15/01/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 088

You deserved it 4 994

By roundemup - 11/02/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 674

You deserved it 5 215

By pain - 01/11/2011 14:52 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 177

You deserved it 39 871

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 428

You deserved it 51 100

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 433

You deserved it 1 632

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 882

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 246

wordly 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:12

Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.

paks7 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:14

umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?

Comments

ssnickel 0

Monday 29 June 2009 16:15

Every comment that's something along the lines of "duuuude i'd rather have a hot chick playing with my balls than a guy... how gay!" are really pissing me off. Medical procedures are not sexual in any way. Even if the doctor was a "hot female," it's not like sex is part of their job at all. You're there to get surgery, not to get laid. I can't believe how immature half the people commenting on this FML are.

gamerdude94 1

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:16

I agree. And they're not "playing" with your balls anyway. They're stitching them.

gamerdude94 1

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:16

I agree. And they're not "playing" with your balls anyway. They're stitching them.

bigfml 0

Monday 29 June 2009 18:48

OP maybe you meant to post this over on www.MyLifeIsG.com

Vitamin_C 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 2:30

As opposed to a girl who was a male? teehee

gamerdude94 1

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:09

Who was a male? Do you mean who has a male?

jnic 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 4:34

hahah i think he means "who actually has a scrotum". but yeah, weird wording.

gamerdude94 1

Monday 29 June 2009 19:02

I understand why you would want a male doctor. At least if he were male, he actually has one, so it's easier to sympathize. And if the girl was female, I couldn't get sexual thoughts out of my mind the whole time. It's just weird for a girl to see you naked for a non-sexual purpose (and I assume the same is for woman and gynecologists.)

plexico 3

Monday 29 June 2009 19:06

Your worries shouldn't be that the female doctors are going to spread the word to all womanhood about your scrotum (whether it is tiny or wrinkly or mishapen); your worry is that they will spread the word what an incredible dumb-ass you are!

gamerdude94 1

Monday 29 June 2009 19:07

Eh. I go through these comments, and I can't help but think the people that are defending him are gay. But trust me, when put in that situation, you will prefer a doctor of the same sex.

fullcarbon54 0

Monday 29 June 2009 19:13

Ydi for riding w/o a seat cover. You must be retarded.

Mr_Kennedy 4

Monday 29 June 2009 19:17

What's with all the scrotum injuries?

lettertjes 0

Monday 29 June 2009 20:31

I can assure you a needle going through your scrotum does not hurt less when a man wields it.

greggsansone 1

Monday 29 June 2009 21:27

Dude I'm a little unclear on the "seat cover" thing. Maybe you should ride a big wheel. Are you gay? The only reason you would prefer a male to see your skin pistol is because you'd want him to fire it!