Transportation: Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit...

By Anonymous - 28/06/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 433

You deserved it 49 769

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 593

You deserved it 4 651

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 973

You deserved it 2 662

By box bulge - 21/10/2011 01:24 - China

Today, whilst trying on a pair of jeans, I got my genitals caught in my fly. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 016

You deserved it 9 980

Thorn in my side

By CantPublish - 15/01/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, during swimming in PE, I kept noticing a stinging feeling on my scrotum. Every time I jumped into the water I would feel a sharp stab. After the full hour of hell, I went to the bathroom and looked in my new trunks. The designer had left a sewing needle in the crotch netting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 088

You deserved it 4 994

By roundemup - 11/02/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, I was helping some neighbors corral and tag their cattle. Deciding to take a break, I turned my back to all 3 men and jumped down from an old, rusty gate. Luckily, the sharp piece of metal sticking out of it barely missed my skin. Instead it tore off the ass of both my pants and undies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 674

You deserved it 5 215

By pain - 01/11/2011 14:52 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that you should never use medical tape to secure gauze over a razor cut on your scrotum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 177

You deserved it 39 871

By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 21:02 - Bulgaria - Batanovci

Today, I was riding my bike home from the store. Wanting to impress some passers-by, I tried to do a trick on a sharp turn. I hit a pole with my balls. As I was lying on the ground in agony, a guy pulled over, took a picture, and took off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 428

You deserved it 51 100

By man-period? - 02/03/2016 06:48 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 433

You deserved it 1 632

FML Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/08/2017 06:00

Today, me and my boyfriend had sex but stopped when I felt pain downstairs. That evening he wanted me to go to the emergency room but I wanted to sleep it off. Turned out I needed surgery. One of my fallopian tubes had ripped. The sex was so rough, I got an intravenous hemorrhage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 614

You deserved it 882

Alexa, play "Fast Cars" by Buzzcocks

By Sparky - 20/07/2022 18:00

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 246

wordly 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:12

Ouch! Bad scene. YDI a little bit for not seeing that coming when you rode without a seat.

paks7 0

Monday 29 June 2009 2:14

umm....use a seat cover?? why the hell would you ride a bike without a seat?

Comments

Sock_fml 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 10:52

Sexist much? Also YDI for riding a bike....

chris231997 0

Monday 28 December 2009 1:19

boner

leb007 0

Friday 15 January 2010 11:58

why want a male doctor??? poofter

GLaZEdB3DSHEETs 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 6:23

WTF why in the he'll would you want a man grabin your balls unles your bisexual...

klakuv 0

Tuesday 9 February 2010 4:54

so you prefer to have ur package fondled by a dude?

olefan 0

Friday 12 February 2010 0:05

why are u complaining

manofdoom 0

Thursday 6 May 2010 4:58

win

hayoudumbass 0

Thursday 16 September 2010 8:07

ok so your telling me that would rather have a male doctor stich your dick up instead of a female

WillemCoster 0

Monday 28 February 2011 12:53

so u rather have a guy handling your balls than a bunch of chicks dude are you high? show off the the females that what i would do even if my balls were torn open but ya still sounds painfull

WillemCoster 0

Monday 28 February 2011 12:57

i ride without a seat but i stand up while riding no sitting in mountain biking even with a seat in that youll still get you balls ripped off if you sit