Miscellaneous: Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were...

By HotToTrotskyite - 08/09/2009 17:30 - Russian Federation

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 291

You deserved it 84 966

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 12:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 392

You deserved it 3 782

Missing

By Rabite - 13/09/2016 11:22 - Germany

Today, I was on a business trip with a coworker. We had to wait for the train, so I decided to browse a store in the train station while he waited outside. I then got a message on my phone, from my co-worker saying, "You are somewhere on this train, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 617

You deserved it 5 318

Ticket to ride

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 22:01

Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 161

By mark - 11/01/2009 02:11 - France

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 9 382

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 6 865

By dearbailee - 18/09/2012 14:04 - United States

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 914

You deserved it 4 111

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 474

You deserved it 12 793

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 15:33 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 000

You deserved it 5 357

By Quackadoodledoo - 24/04/2014 02:21 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 189

You deserved it 5 403

Pervy

By nameless - 09/11/2010 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 2 920

lenasaur 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 23:22

Are you stupid? Most people all over the world understand English because its everywhere- schools, media, etc.

Dillybar 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 23:21

Some lessons are learned the hard way.

Comments

sas_nmn 1

Wednesday 9 September 2009 9:57

YDI for not realizing pretty much everyone in Europe speaks at least enough English to know when they're being made fun of.

xoxcinderellaxox 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 11:18

fyl because i can relate. this has happened to me a few times

TysonFawlay 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 11:22

Rofl, this is the most retarded thing I've read in ages, you're dealing with the worlds third most spoken language, and the most commonly accepted as some kind of "default"-language, and you think a nerdy businessman in a capital city can't understand it? Just die, or at least don't ever reproduce.

TysonFawlay 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 11:26

That's third largest as in official languages btw. Not as in number of people speaking it, guess I shoulda used that number instead...

Nikash 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 13:10

Kinda 99% of ppl upto 35 y.o. speak English, or at least can understand basic phrases and read some english literature. Mature (50+) usually don't, since they couldn't have enough practice in soviet period + half of them learned german. So, you totally deserved it. P.S. I am from Moscow.

capricaz 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 13:22

YDI for assuming someone does not speak English. Asshole.

Victoria_fml 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 14:03

I just HATE people who talk in a foreign language, saying rude things before they think other people won't understand them. YDI.

Brey1013 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 15:04

Well that was silly wasnt it? use ur head next time yea? YDI

jules0075 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 15:13

What a moron, you do know that most of the world speaks some English, and Moscow is a huge business center - language of business being English. "Use your head to think, not your ass" - something they say in Moscow!

shelboo_fml 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 15:48

haha as everyone else said. Totally deserved it. And I agree with whomever said it's rude to .. well be rude in another language. It's like kicking a guy in the groin; you just don't do it.