Miscellaneous: Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were...

By HotToTrotskyite - 08/09/2009 17:30 - Russian Federation

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 291

You deserved it 84 966

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/09/2009 12:54 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to catch a coach to London at 4 in the morning. I was late so I had to take any free seat, so sat down next to a seemingly sweet old man. Within ten minutes, the sweet old man was trying to kiss me and trying to pull me on top of him. Nobody said anything. The journey was 4 hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 392

You deserved it 3 782

Missing

By Rabite - 13/09/2016 11:22 - Germany

Today, I was on a business trip with a coworker. We had to wait for the train, so I decided to browse a store in the train station while he waited outside. I then got a message on my phone, from my co-worker saying, "You are somewhere on this train, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 617

You deserved it 5 318

Ticket to ride

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 22:01

Today, I was in a bus headed to another city and fell asleep as did everyone else. I must've woken up last, because I half-snorted as I woke up and everybody heard. Now we’re on a coffee break and I can see them all snicker about it outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 161

By mark - 11/01/2009 02:11 - France

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 9 382

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 6 865

By dearbailee - 18/09/2012 14:04 - United States

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 914

You deserved it 4 111

By M.L. - 06/09/2009 21:09 - United States

Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 474

You deserved it 12 793

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 15:33 - United States

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 000

You deserved it 5 357

By Quackadoodledoo - 24/04/2014 02:21 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, I was on the London underground reading a newspaper. A huge guy was sitting next to me and there weren't many other people around. As I turned a page, he leaned into me, glaring, and said, "I'm not finished yet". At the next stop I put down the paper and jumped off. It wasn't even my stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 189

You deserved it 5 403

Pervy

By nameless - 09/11/2010 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got on a bus that was so overcrowded I had to stand next to the driver with nothing to hang on to. A drunk man got on and for the rest of the half hour journey continuously fell on me. When I got off, he smiled and told me as the doors were closing, "The last twelve times was for fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 2 920

lenasaur 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 23:22

Are you stupid? Most people all over the world understand English because its everywhere- schools, media, etc.

Dillybar 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 23:21

Some lessons are learned the hard way.

Comments

saailaway 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 18:49

...take a nap on a nerdy business guy...WTF

davek 36

Wednesday 9 September 2009 19:39

In Soviet Russia, joke backfires on YOU!!!

Stpatch754 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 19:46

ahahaha serves you right you arrogant ****

cwdeus 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 19:59

YDI for underestimate the chance that people understand English nowadays, especially in major cities. English is the current lingua franca. (I'm from Asia) Even as low as 30% risk of being understood is too high for this kind of situation.

godyourethick 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 20:28

Christ, OP is thick.

infrared_fml 0

Wednesday 9 September 2009 21:47

You're lucky, the Russians I know would rip your head off for less.

Rajah723 0

Wednesday 25 May 2011 4:02

What Russians do you know?

TO_2014 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 1:49

yeah you should have known

aravol 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 6:25

When overseas, remember, America is the ONLY country that doesn't teach it's children more than a single language from birth, and even that's starting to fade. Someone on the bus WILL understand you.

guppies 1

Thursday 10 September 2009 12:28

Uh, England doesn't teach foreign languages 'from birth'

steven141 0

Friday 11 September 2009 13:34

I do not understand why americans keep calling the UK, England. Also, yeh, everyone is pretty ignorant here when it comes to foreign languages, it is something that gets neglected at schools