Kids: Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last...

By mark - 11/01/2009 02:11 - France

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 9 382

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sleeper - 02/03/2010 05:05 - France

Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 312

You deserved it 6 070

Drunk hookup ends with a… bang

By Anonymous - 14/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 554

By niabby - 20/02/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 6 865

By embarassed - 21/04/2011 03:24 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 346

You deserved it 12 939

By The horror... - 11/11/2015 16:52 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I farted myself awake, in a car full of my boyfriend's family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 376

You deserved it 3 173

Creeped out

By DaddysGirl - 16/10/2011 10:36 - Canada

Today, I took the train to visit my parents, which arrives late at night. As I was getting off, the cute guy in front of me looked out the window, then turned to me and said, "Doesn't that guy out there give you the creeps?" That guy was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 397

You deserved it 2 612

It wasn't me

By Banana - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Puerto Rico

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 298

You deserved it 6 984

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 785

You deserved it 13 979

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 882

You deserved it 11 308

By pandora - 13/06/2012 09:08 - Israel - Palmahim

Today, I fell asleep on the bus. When I woke up, my head was resting on the broad, tanned shoulder of the smoking hot guy sitting next to me. I had drooled a little. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 548

You deserved it 5 091

x0x_KissOfDeath 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 19:38

#5, you fart, everybody farts, does that make you fat? maybe, maybe not..but you come off rude and ignorant. but honestly...thats awesome!

Brandosyn 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:46

Man you missed out on the obvious retort to that little kid, namely lifting one cheek and squeezing for all you were worth. Hell even if you royally sharted your pants it woulda been totally worth it...

Comments

AliSama 17

Tuesday 24 February 2009 4:19

are you sure you where not traveling by air india?

phantomsmokes 0

Monday 9 March 2009 10:28

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

strangenessandch 0

Monday 27 June 2011 7:13

Yeah, notice how he said LAST NIGHT not JUST BEFORE I GOT ON THE TRAIN. Asshole.

constantine91 0

Friday 12 August 2011 9:12

Some people are just idiots. I love how you tried to write a smart ass remark but it completely backfired on you. IDIOT.

Brandosyn 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 3:46

megamatt215 0

Friday 13 August 2010 0:59

what the hell does "sharting" mean?

Ikz_Hustler 9

Friday 25 February 2011 21:53

Pooing. That kids a genius :DDD

teentee401 36

Monday 25 August 2014 2:18

Sharting means farting so hard that you shit

x0x_KissOfDeath 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 19:38

#5, you fart, everybody farts, does that make you fat? maybe, maybe not..but you come off rude and ignorant. but honestly...thats awesome!

Commentator_fml 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 0:47

Can we not have anything mature anymore?

roadie42 21

Monday 12 August 2013 5:36

Come on now - immaturity is a blast!!

ILIEKGIRLS 5

Monday 30 March 2009 12:13

I think you had just a bit too much curry.

sforward09 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:43

HHAHAHAH if i were the kid i would have been ******** myself cause i would be laughing so hard... hahahaha if i were you..... i would be extremely embarrassed XD

funkmaster795 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 2:13

That sucks and thats gross! wouldnt want to be in that train!

Loboguy 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 16:57

INDIAN FOOD FTW American food is too freaking bland .. you people, need flavor in your lives. Of course, I don't drink alcohol, so that may just be your fault .. =P