Intimacy: Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been...

By thjeltz - 27/10/2010 18:48 - Canada

Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 3 069

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Same thing different taste

By bruised - 19/05/2016 20:54 - Australia - Sydney

Today, while playing hockey, one of my teammates decided to swing her hockey stick like a golf club. She missed the ball, but managed to hit me right in the vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 316

You deserved it 1 240

By JLoistheBomb - 11/02/2009 00:01 - United States

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 679

You deserved it 76 585

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 3 079

Puck my life

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 19:54 - Canada - Burlington

Today, I went to a hockey game. While warm-ups were happening, my favourite player pointed at me and tossed me a puck. It bounced off my hand into another girl's, who was a fan of the other team. She refused to give it back, then walked away and said, "I can't wait to sell this on eBay." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 077

You deserved it 2 433

Teamwork

By eventer1919 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Rice Lake

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 400

You deserved it 1 889

Common passion

By ShowerheadGirl - 09/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable shower head. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, "You too?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 168

You deserved it 25 251

Senpai Noticed

By HelenErutherford - 09/07/2018 01:30

Today, my period started. It wouldn't be a big deal if it hadn't happened while I was in my karate class practicing kicks, and if the guy I have a crush on hadn't informed me of it after chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 251

You deserved it 341

By Nutless - 02/04/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 568

You deserved it 12 424

Benched

By fmlprobot - 04/06/2009 23:48 - United States

Today, my baseball team had a game and one of our best players was injured sliding into first. I'm pretty fast so when the coach called my name I grabbed a helmet assuming it was finally my chance to get in the game. Turns out he just wanted me to get ice. The entire team couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 412

You deserved it 4 676

By Noname - 17/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I had a gymnastics meet. I thought I was done with my period, but when I was up on the beam warming up my routine, one of my coaches called me down and told me that I apparently wasn't. My coach goes around asking my teammates moms if they had any pads. My dad caught this all on tape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 901

You deserved it 7 675

Fortuitous 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:16

I thought you score in hockey when you get the puck into the goal, not the stick.

bridgette5866 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 0:33

so y'all need to hide yo dick, hide yo balls, hide your dick, hide yo balls, and hide yo asshole cuz they rapin errbody in here

Comments

ilovemydoodle123 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:02

uhhhhh no ****?

CO_Dorvanski 5

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:03

No, there _are_ 5 months.

elmorous 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:16

tell everyone

jessicaaababy 8

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:19

that's soo wrong, i'd stay away and watch out for your little crush ;] ew haha

biskitbukit 7

Thursday 28 October 2010 5:55

LoL, that is disgusting, and btw your a sexy bitch ;)

iKam16 2

Thursday 28 October 2010 10:15

Your hot.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:19

I'm trying to think of what 'connect' would mean, in this scenario, and I've come to two conclusions: Buttsex or sausage fight.

HappyPickles 11

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:59

by "connect", he could have been asking for a blow-job ... or a hand-job... ... He *might* even have been asking to be kicked in the nuts - but that's probably less likely...

sebcola13 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 20:26

Hey ! i like football too. my favorite team is Marseille (Om). Liverpool didn't started the season well.

LOLSWAT 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:32

connect? what, like docking?

pcakewafflebacon 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:47

homies over hoes. homies over hoes. do the hommieee haha

winger17 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:48

lol our showers arnt as straight up gay like that but they get pretty weird. so touching or anything just the ****** up talk that goes on. but we are not gay, we are teammates

SoldieroftheLORD 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:49

Ahh god I play too but I've never ended up with a gay kid

HappyPickles 11

Thursday 28 October 2010 2:55

Well from the sound of it, when you said "no thanks", he left it at that - so no harm done. It's no different to your asking a girl on a date and her saying "no thanks" - does that mean the two of you have to be awkward with each other for the rest of your lives? ... actually, no.