Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who...

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 286

You deserved it 45 052

Winter: Snow and Funny News
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Same thing different taste

The View

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 357

You deserved it 7 924

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 073

You deserved it 54 975

Oh shit…

By half-dead in CA - 31/05/2014 16:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 331

You deserved it 4 014

Stealth bomber

By Jogger - 19/08/2020 14:01

Today, I was standing in line at a coffee shop when the guy stood behind me let out a huge fart, then walked away. The rest of the line turned around, thinking that it was me. An old lady started to lecture me about being rude, while the guy who did it laughed behind his mask in the corner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 136

America, fix your bathroom stalls

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 630

Holy eyesight, Batman!

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 22:00

Today, I thought a cute guy was checking out my ass, so I cheekily bent over a little to give him an eyeful. He walked over to a shop assistant, pointed at me and left. The assistant then informed me, “Miss, you’ve torn your trousers, your knickers are visible, and, um, apparently you have a skid mark.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 1 215

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 798

You deserved it 11 968

By Nicole - 20/02/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, while in Walmart, I noticed an old man who had been following me for about five minutes. I politely pulled over with my cart and smiled at him so he could pass. He then said with a creepy smile, "So it's your turn to stare at my butt now?" It's the most attention I've gotten in weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 545

You deserved it 3 302

Cool beans

By oopsiecoffee - 09/04/2009 06:40 - Canada

Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like, "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with, "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full." He's the owner of the shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 330

You deserved it 76 760

Creepy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 280

You deserved it 2 528

AssOf2009 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:26

lmao, maybe he was debating with himself as to whether or not he should tell you your crack was showing!

Imawhalerider 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 9:31

"hey man don't get all cracked up"

Comments

deaditegirl 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 15:02

YDI for not knowing how to dress yourself properly. That guy is awesome.

annjella117 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 15:42

34 is an idiot....it's not a matter of dressing yourself properly.

trulyinsane 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 18:25

actually it is. simply dont wear revealing cloths. if jeans don't fit you well, wear a belt, or don't wear jeans.

Fiver716 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 15:48

Dude that sounds like something willy wonka would say.

the_commentator 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 16:01

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news..." LMAO! I'd tap that.

CrimsonImpact 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 16:22

Yeah.. I'm not going to call you retarded, because I'm sure many of us have had a day like this at some point, but a belt is a good investment. Or a longer shirt, or better-fitting pants. Or, if this is something you would have noticed on your own, then sit with your back against a wall or a corner or something. Anyway, his phrasing is hilarious. That sucks though, because from the original post, it sounds like you weren't alone at your table. And this isn't NEARLY as embarrassing/disgusting as the guys I see around my neighborhood who purposely wear pants that are like three sizes too big so they have to hold them up with their hands when they walk around, and seem to think this is somehow fashionable. I always imagine what would happen to them if they were forced to run away from a dangerous situation while trying to hold their clothes on.