By Rodrigeuz26 - 22/01/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 291
You deserved it 4 490

Same thing different taste

Top comments

shmikey 0

how did she keep that secret for 6 months?

Comments

MF12 0

let me try... ihop: it didn't correct it IHOP: it didn't correct it

Now you'll always wonder what else she's hiding. I don't think you can be with her anymore.

stormin972 0

I wonder what other small details she's been lying about or hiding. She has a kid so that means she screwed someone unprotected. Maybe it's time to go get checked out for VD. For the record it's not normal when it burns when you pee.

prin_cess8 4

OMG! Same thing happened to me, but instead his son was 2 years old. I'm sorry. It does change things. Makes you wonder what else she has been hiding, huh?

you should be happy that she didn't wait until you guys settle in and then bring in her 3 years old son. x) what a woman.

sportsnut 0

The correct response would be something along the lines of "yes, this certainly changes things, you obviously have severe issues to hide something like this from someone you dating. This relationship is over because you are a very dishonest person" the end

Honesty always goes a long way. I'm 21, and my boyfriend has a son. If he had lie to me about it, we would already be through. But since he was honest, and i always knew the child was there, i could familiarize me with the idea of being a step-mother at age 21 BEFORE meeting his son. It wasn't a shock, neither for me or the kid, and we actually go along pretty well. Heck, i'm also friend with the mom!

Well technically she didn't lie about the child as far as we know, she just didn't bring it up. I also think that it is different for guys with children then women as they typically are the primary care provider. The whole thought process is just as you say about being a step-mother, except in this case step-father. Obviously the OP was not ok with it, but what is instead of saying she had a child after 6 months she said she was an alcoholic, addicted to gambling, in debt over her head, would that be any different. No, these are all things that you learn as the relationship process goes on. If the OP really liked her he would have at least given it a chance, but instead he was so blinded because she has a child. Either you love her and accept her fully, which means accepting the child, or move on. For future reference just ask if they have children, if they don't tell you at this point that's lying.

A lie of omission is a lie. Being addicted to any of those things is different than having a child, an addiction can be conquered. Dating someone with a child is a load of responsibility, especially once the child becomes involved. Many people arent ready for that, no matter what their feelings are for the parent. There was no discussion of whether or not he was okay with her having a child, let alone if he was ready to meet said child. She just brought the child in, which left him her and the child vunerable to hurt feelings.

I fully agree with flippingbunny. The fact that my boyfriend has a son does change many things. I have to get along with his past, wheter I like it or not, cause he can't stop seeing his ex nor his son (i don't want him to, just stating a fact). Plus, I don't see myself disappearing every w-e my boyfriend has to care for his son. It doesn't matter, and it never mattered what were my feelings toward his child. It was always clear that I had to accept him or walk away. That's no where close a NORMAL relationship. I made the choice to give it a try, and I don't regret it. Problem in the above story is that OP didn't have time to accept the concept of having to deal with someone's else"s child, nor to make himself the choice of giving it a try.

A lie of omission is a lie?? What the hell are you talking about, I guarantee you don't go around telling everyone your life story the minute you meet them. You'd have to decipher what they might find offensive and then tell them everything to pull this off which is absolutely absurd! Next, the child meeting someone for the first time doesn't mean they are in a vulnerable position, the woman was just trying to protect the child thinking that hey I've been seeing this guy for six months I'm comfortable with him meeting my child now. Understandably you've never dated anyone with a kid or have a child yourself. Finally, Maerynn, you talk of a NORMAL relationship, this normal you speak of is a myth. No one has a normal relationship, yes some have more or less drama then others but there is no such thing as normal. Normal to you or I may be completely abnormal to someone else, validating my point. There is no FML here, I bet this happens all the time and the majority of the time the woman is dumped. I would say if he stayed with her it'd be more of an FML because then he does have an added responsibility, but not when he dumps her.

I am a single mother, no I dont go around telling a new boyfriend my whole life story. However, six months is a long time to go without mentioning you are a single parent. The OPs girlfriend should have shown him, and her child, a little more courtesy than that. Like I said in a previous post, what if the OP had reacted badly? What if he didnt but the mood was tense the entire time, kids pick up on those things. She used the child as a shield for any eruptions, thats not fair to the child or the OP. It would be one thing if she mentioned the child to him and they mutually agreed that it was time for him to meet the child. He had no idea he was about to meet the child of his girlfriends that he didnt know she had. I do see your point about telling a new boyfriend/girlfriend all your deepest secrets right off the bat, but to me and apparently many others, this is different.

jyd62 0

time to leave IHOP and go to dennys alone lol

Everyone here is being ridiculously stupid. Maybe she didn't want to mention having a kid for the kids own personal safety. I know I wouldn't, why put a little kid in a situation where the kid could get hurt? The woman was being a responsible parent and adult. And you all need to take a step back and look at this from HER perspective! Wouldn't you do the same is her shoes? And if you say no then maybe your not a good parent, or maybe you don't care enough for yur childs safety, in which case you shouldn't be allowed to have your kid.

boatkicker 4

How does telling your boyfriend that you are a mother put the child in danger? If I were a mother I probably wouldn't let them MEET for a long time, but whoever I was dating would know of the existence of my child pretty immediately, because no, making him aware of the existence of a kid, does not hurt the child.