By Rodrigeuz26 - 22/01/2010 07:26 - United States

Today, I was sitting in IHOP with my girlfriend of six months when she brought in her son of three years she had neglected to tell me about, and asked 'Does this change things?' FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 291
You deserved it 4 490

Same thing different taste

Top comments

shmikey 0

how did she keep that secret for 6 months?

Comments

Kr3tS22 0

Rhys how u know that dopeyrox is just straight immature

She should have told him before six months!! Being a mother is my life, it comes first and foremost and its only fair to be upfront with that important information. I dont want my time being wasted just as much as he wouldnt want to waste his. As a mother, Im also slightly disguisted in the way she told/showed him. What if he had reacted badly infront of the child? Three year olds understand so much more than we think. What if he got up and left in a rant about her having a child and not telling him, how badly do you think that child would have felt? Even if he/she couldnt understand all the words, the child would understand parts of it and that his/her mommy just got her feelings hurt possibly because of her/him.

boatkicker 4

I'm with you completely here. I hae a feeling though that's why she brought the kid instead of telling him though. Most people WONT react badly when a child is present. They'll keep their mouths shut, simply because they don't want to upset the kid. I have a very big feeling that Mommy brought the boy, to prevent a scene if OP had problems with it. I've seem women (my mom, and a former friend of mine) hide behind their kids many times. What they don't seem to realize is that even if the man doesn't do anything bad, the kid will stick pick up on the tense mood, and be uncomfortable

OP's girlfriend should have mentioned early on that she had a kid but maybe wait a little bit before introducing them.

tcbailey 0

def. ****** up that she didn't tell you!! Curious as to when kids became baggage, people need to think about the way they refer to kids.....I have been a single parent since I was 18 it wasn't a mistake just something that I handled exactly how I needed too. I always told men I dated about my son but they were lucky if they met the most important person in my life !!!!

hoppinau 0

Her son of three years? lol...What was he prior to those three years? Fag

singlemom1409 0

ok for one anyone that woulndt date a woman for her having a child is a pathetic heartless person i have a 9 month old she is the best thing on gods green earth.....she makes my world go round and just beacuse that woman didnt bring up her child does not mean she dont care about that child every woman should be that way just leave the child out of the situation till she feels the time is right obviousley u didnt relize the reason she is prolly telling u this is cuz she wants somthing seariouse to come of it.....but i guess ur heartless if u think otherwise

I'm really glad that you like your child, but you don't really have a choice in the matter do you.. Why would I want to spend my time and money for 18 years raising a child that isn't mine? I'd happily care for my own child. But I'm not taking responsibly for some one else's.

ProtoBuster_1 5

I'm a "pathetic heartless person" because I don't want to hurt the child if their mother & I break up? I simply choose not to hurt the child's feelings or make them feel as if it's their fault (which it isn't). When I was 23, I was dating a woman for a year who had a 6 year old daughter - in the beginning of the relationship, when I asked her if she had any children, she lied and told me no. It wasn't until she invited me to a family cookout that I met her daughter. I dumped her on the spot, told her to forget my number and went home. If a single mother chooses to involve her child within the relationship, is upfront with it from the beginning and the man feels okay with the child being there, then I agree with them remaining in said relationship wholeheartedly. However, if the single mom chooses to not tell her boyfriend she has kids and he finds out from someone else or on his own later, he's going to feel hurt and neglected. It doesn't matter how much time has passed within the relationship - if the woman feels the need to hide something that important from the man she wants to be with, she cannot be trusted at all.

Im a single mom of a 2 year old and Im not heartless. I understand that some men just dont want to have the responsibility of a child, whether or not they are actually responsible for the child. Some men just dont want kids. They dont want to date someone that has so much responsibility or so much of their time taken away from them, that doesnt make them heartless, a little selfish maybe. My son is my world, much like Im sure your child is. I dont introduce my son to a boyfriend unless we are all comfortable with the situation, but I do let the person know upfront what they are about to get themselves into.

That's got to make for a fun date "I'm sorry Johny, I'm not dating your mommy any more... she's a liar." Not cool on her. For one thing, putting him in that awkward situation in the restuarant. For another, lying from the start. If you're overweight, don't post thin, high school pics online and say you're "average," if you have a kid or were previously married... you should probably be open about that from the get go. What kind of relationship do you expect to have that's built on lies?

#198, the only reason not to mention a child is deception, there is no other way of looking at it, you can physically keep a child out of a relationship at the start, but not bringing it up until you're sure is just out and out lying by omission and it would be your own fault if the guy bolted on you. If you feel you want something to come of a relationship you lay all cards on the table at the start. Most men i know have no issues dating a single parent, but i do respect those with the view they wouldn't for any number of reasons. One being you cant really EXPECT some guy to take on your child. I struggle with the thought of how can i expect some guy to take on my children, it is a big ask. I;m lucky i have found a great guy who loves me and my kids, but i never went into any dating expecting someone to. i said it before, one of the first things i tell anyone i meet (not just in a dating sense) is i have 3 kids. They are my world, my life and part of me and i couldn't imagine hiding them away. the only other reason i could imagine someone not telling is they're ashamed of their. As far as i am concerned ANYONE who doesn't mention their children up front deserves what ever dating disasters they get when found out.

SumKid_fml 0

Man, I hope I never have to be in your position, OP. Must really suck.