Miscellaneous: Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining...

By danonno - 02/08/2012 21:08 - Canada - Nelson

Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 300

You deserved it 3 292

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Same thing different taste

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 463

By asthmatic - 18/06/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I used my inhaler for the first time in a year. As soon as I took a puff I felt something strange go down my throat. Upon closer inspection I discovered there had been a spider living in the mouth of my inhaler... and I had just swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 264

You deserved it 8 780

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

By jillydark6609 - 19/09/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 287

You deserved it 14 263

By HighasaCloud - 10/12/2016 02:38

Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 639

You deserved it 771

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 954

You deserved it 1 163

He was just chillin'

By Anonymous - 04/07/2021 13:59

Today, I was taking a shower when I noticed the huge spider above my head. Now, being the smart person I am, I sprayed the water up at it, causing it to fall. Right on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 1 010

By baconandkittens - 26/02/2012 03:13 - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 565

You deserved it 5 784

By igotpride - 09/12/2013 21:01 - United States

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 821

You deserved it 5 381

beefstew_54 3

Friday 3 August 2012 9:09

thats just awful. just....ugh **** that shit.. *shivers*

HowAreYouToday 34

Friday 3 August 2012 9:11

Why the hell were you born?

Comments

ktlynn095 3

Friday 3 August 2012 9:48

it added some more protine to your meal on the plus side right?

Lexi_princess 3

Friday 3 August 2012 9:59

This is why I always run right when I see a spider. Not sit there a gasp for 10 hundred minutes.

Kajol123 5

Friday 3 August 2012 10:44

Wouldn't "10 hundred" be more like a thousand? Just saying.

Lexi_princess 3

Friday 3 August 2012 18:14

It's an expression.

Lexi_princess 3

Friday 3 August 2012 21:27

Well you have.

DocBastard 38

Friday 3 August 2012 10:18

That doesn't sound like a traumatic-enough injury for me to deal with. I'll let the staff triage him to the main ER so I can continue dealing with my drunk idiots who try to make their cars mate with trees. They amuse me less but need me more.

Brandi_Faith 33

Friday 3 August 2012 10:36

I love you sir!! ...In a way that's not creepy and in no way disrespects your wife of course! Ok...so more of a strong admiration in the way that a protege would look up to his mentor and hero. ;)