Intimacy: Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned...

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By clayton - 28/07/2012 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 514

You deserved it 44 204

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Same thing different taste

Lingo

By Ethan - 09/03/2009 13:35 - Australia

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 171

You deserved it 95 398

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 571

You deserved it 3 112

You seem delighted

By Anonymous - 16/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom walked into my room without knocking to have a whole conversation about some distant relative's birthday in 3 months time. The whole time I had my bullet vibe still up inside me, so I had to talk to my mom while trying not to react to having an orgasm in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 112

By AwkwardMoments - 26/01/2017 14:00

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 982

You deserved it 712

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 241

You deserved it 96 475

By anonymous - 06/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 680

You deserved it 32 290

By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 22:39 - United States

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 899

You deserved it 7 513

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 139

You deserved it 29 790

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 196

By bill219 - 07/12/2012 22:40 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 243

You deserved it 26 096

greenie213 23

Saturday 28 July 2012 5:09

Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.

hunterfisher98 8

Saturday 28 July 2012 5:07

Find yourself a girl bro.

Comments

buttonsfandango 3

Saturday 28 July 2012 18:21

You're gross, that's what's wrong with you!

Ceejay1 13

Saturday 28 July 2012 18:21

Your parents ,that's terrible

Peacelove0404 26

Saturday 28 July 2012 18:55

I mean, she could always be talking about an actual pearl necklace, the jewelry. Let me know if I'm wrong though

nahbean13 3

Saturday 28 July 2012 19:19

She is, OP just has his mind in the gutter.

Peacelove0404 26

Monday 30 July 2012 17:06

Oh, wow haha. Perverted mind, OP

nahbean13 3

Saturday 28 July 2012 19:06

But it still is that difficult to spell "it's"?

183933 6

Saturday 28 July 2012 19:51

Why oh why in the hell would you even think that posting such a thing would a good idea?

verkaderk 9

Saturday 28 July 2012 19:56

You're ******

mpalmiter4717 8

Saturday 28 July 2012 20:29

Need a cigarette Op? LOL

Greggums 2

Saturday 28 July 2012 21:21

Wtf is your problem? I honestly don't have a clue. Go get checked out.

monique8axel 6

Sunday 29 July 2012 5:35

MILF maybe?

candylandy 1

Sunday 29 July 2012 6:33

Ew..

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