Intimacy: Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned...

By clayton - 28/07/2012 00:30 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I was speaking to my mother on the phone, when she mentioned that my dad had surprised her last week with a pearl necklace. Before I could quite grasp what was going on, I'd popped a boner and visualised the scene. What the hell is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 510

You deserved it 44 192

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Lingo

By Ethan - 09/03/2009 13:35 - Australia

Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 163

You deserved it 95 370

By madisonnkelly - 06/07/2015 03:18 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was laying in bed facing my dad. In the middle of our conversation, I noticed he became interested in something behind me. I turn around to the sight of my mom lifting up her shirt, flashing her boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 547

You deserved it 3 107

By AwkwardMoments - 26/01/2017 14:00

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 967

You deserved it 712

Great chat!

By eric - 16/03/2011 07:31 - United States

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 236

You deserved it 96 457

By anonymous - 06/03/2010 06:10 - United States

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 672

You deserved it 32 274

By Anonymous - 21/11/2011 22:39 - United States

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 884

You deserved it 7 510

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

Then it dawned on me…

By Bad dad - 14/08/2022 22:00

Today, at my mom's house, my daughter came running up to me with some sort of love heart hair band, demanding to wear it straight away. After a solid 30 seconds trying to figure out how the band fit around a child's head it started vibrating. It was my mom's sex toy from her bedside drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 194

By bill219 - 07/12/2012 22:40 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 234

You deserved it 26 087

By Danny - 28/05/2012 18:02 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I realised that my body has its own masturbation cycle; while I was out shopping, I heard the intro music to my room-mate's favourite video game, and popped an uncontrollable boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 294

You deserved it 5 774

greenie213 23

Saturday 28 July 2012 5:09

Teenage hormones man. The weirdest shit will set you off.

hunterfisher98 8

Saturday 28 July 2012 5:07

Find yourself a girl bro.

Comments

calilovesneb 12

Saturday 28 July 2012 9:58

Everyone is too busy trying to figure out what a pearl necklace is, or why someone would get hard over the thought of their parents having sex that everyone is failing to miss the real question here, who the HELL tells their kids about their sex life? Especially to that extent. It's even more disturbing if this kid really is 15.

pandalover69 26

Saturday 28 July 2012 10:09

his mom meant that his dad gave her an ACTUAL pearl neckless you moron.

hatesfate 6

Saturday 28 July 2012 11:08

The fact that you don't know that pearls can actually be made into real necklaces is disturbing...

marisadc79 0

Saturday 28 July 2012 12:05

It saddens me that you can't comprehend what the person wrote. They didn't say anything about a parent mentioning their sex life and if you're thinking of pearls as a sex toy maybe you need some therapy and a boyfriend. Sounds like your patents need to do a better job of teaching you about the birds and bees and get you a reading tutor.

calilovesneb 12

Saturday 28 July 2012 19:11

Excuse me? I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only person who was confused by this.

hatesfate 6

Saturday 28 July 2012 21:18

No one else thought the OPs parents were talking to them about sex.... Maybe you and the OP should get together.

22cute 17

Saturday 28 July 2012 10:19

Op, probably no one but you will read this far. This seriously sounds like a past life issue. If you can find a trustworthy hypnotherapist who does regression one session could put your mind at rest and resolve other issues for you as well. You don't even have to believe in past lives.

CoffeeChickBlows 13

Saturday 28 July 2012 11:29

STFU ****.

videokid2000 10

Saturday 28 July 2012 14:59

I'm not sure how that is a past life problem.

urbanimpression 6

Saturday 28 July 2012 11:29

Lose your anal beads and get a life lol

marisadc79 0

Saturday 28 July 2012 12:01

Therapy and a girlfriend is what I'm thinking you need

nahbean13 3

Saturday 28 July 2012 19:18

Because instead of learning and exercising self control guys should just go and find a girl to use for their sexual frustrations. Because girlfriends aren't for relationships- just sex.