Health: Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like... - FML

By Rachal - 30/01/2012 01:27 - United States

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 10 919

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Same thing different taste

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 608

By Malpal - 23/01/2009 11:03 - United States

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 543

You deserved it 29 628

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 335

By hedayk - 15/05/2015 20:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 272

You deserved it 12 023

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 077

You deserved it 6 687

WHO ARE YOU?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2020 03:00

Today, I was on the toilet and jumped when I saw a face at the window. It was my own reflection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 779

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 185

By igotsbadluck - 17/07/2013 21:44 - United States - Smyrna

Today, while walking into a hotel room, I passed by a full-sized mirror. My reflection scared me so badly that I punched the mirror, which then shattered and resulted in several cuts to my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 060

You deserved it 41 993

By Anonymous - 13/04/2012 09:43 - Canada

Today, I went to pick a penny off of the ground for good luck. Someone kneed me in the butt, I fell face first and broke my glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 790

You deserved it 4 274

Bad start to the day

By Concussed - 17/01/2010 06:22 - Australia

Today, as I showered, I sneezed, hit my face on the wall, got shampoo in my eyes, slipped on a bar of soap, bashed my head on the wall as I fell, grabbed at the walls to stop me from falling and happened to turn off the cold water, scorching me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 731

You deserved it 6 071

Next

Top comments

dumboears 8

Monday 30 January 2012 9:01

That's one hell of a fart.

LaColombianita 26

Monday 30 January 2012 9:02

I didn't know a fart could cause that much damage...

Comments

Badkittyinwa 2

Tuesday 13 March 2012 5:31

Trewwwqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqtrgb.tttttttttrg

probeast44 3

Sunday 18 March 2012 1:35

Wow. That's odd, how do you manage that?

moonflower20 7

Saturday 25 August 2012 9:32

When I read this I farted but didn't break anything

therouni 23

Tuesday 24 September 2013 4:04

I laughed far too hard at your misfortune.

MissSarcasm01 18

Sunday 22 December 2013 22:42

Had you recently eaten at Taco Ball? Man, that really BLOWS.

MissSarcasm01 18

Sunday 22 December 2013 22:43

Next time you should eat at Wendy's.

kiaroxilles 8

Monday 18 August 2014 16:03

Either you ate something that your stomach REALLY didn't agree with, or you should get that checked out. Sounds like possible hemorrhoids.

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The Top

Today, while I was making out with my boyfriend, he left my dorm suddenly without telling me where he was going. A few hours later, he texted me to tell me that being with me made him feel dirty and he had gone to confession. He then called me a sinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 548

You deserved it 7 856

Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 684

You deserved it 9 289

The Top

Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 900

You deserved it 3 104

Today, my girlfriend was cool with me having a side piece, until she found out it was a gay guy. She kicked me out and dumped me. I texted him, asking if I could crash on his couch for a while. He thought I wanted a relationship, and cut me off when I said I wasn't interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 1 686

Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 128

You deserved it 2 166

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 3 416

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 720

You deserved it 31 094

Today, I realised that my work office is the building that I have spent by far the most amount of time in throughout my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 145