Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard...

By jshi8 - 04/08/2011 14:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 79 901

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Same thing different taste

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 650

You deserved it 7 289

Bought or stolen

By dump truck hater - 03/06/2015 16:18 - United States - Austin

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 787

You deserved it 2 223

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 668

You deserved it 543

By AwwChute - 21/02/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 021

You deserved it 32 722

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 931

You deserved it 5 228

By Typrokka - 22/10/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 160

You deserved it 32 196

By badluckantonio - 25/08/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 040

You deserved it 3 030

Herbie Kirby

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 12:00

Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 124

By ToiletRoll - 29/03/2015 12:49 - Australia - Frankston

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 2 751

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 918

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

try a toilet next time?

nekros_fml 5

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

what are you doing taking a dump behind a dumpster? Were you born in a barn?

Comments

charlie43 1

Thursday 4 August 2011 22:43

bro, when you hear the garbage truck driving up, it's time to bust outta there and zip up the pants

sarah_loves_yuh 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 22:45

Jezz! I hate when that happens!

utvols11 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 22:47

Are you, by any chance, retarded?

allenhouse3320 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 22:49

just cause it's called a dumpster don't mean u take a dump behind it. wow bet u crapped your pants lol

jshi5 6

Thursday 4 August 2011 22:50

Maybe he had diarrea and couldnt hold it in

alissa222 15

Thursday 4 August 2011 22:54

I get saving water and all that, but this is going to far.

loserman67 35

Thursday 4 August 2011 22:57

You my friend are one classy Dude. I bet you're fun at parties and a great house guest! Upper Decker?

MissCuteStack 12

Thursday 4 August 2011 23:03

Hahaha their probably gunna put it on Facebook and then u are gonna be cyber famous :)

FuckAllOurLives 6

Thursday 4 August 2011 23:04

why were you there????????

Thalankwyte69 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 23:08

your retarded

Keywords

Annoying Education University Confused AITA Sex Divorce Awkward Love Dreams Relatable Embarrassing Miscellaneous Racism Work Weird Pregnancy Kids Motherhood Cute Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Food Health Roommate My ex Texting

The Top

Today, a female coworker kissed me so I reported it to my boss, but he told me I should take the compliment, and asked me why the hell I was complaining about "getting some." I’m a guy, but I’m sure if I was a woman and I’d had a kiss forced on me, it would be a huge issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 917

You deserved it 218

Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 112

The Top

Today, while feeling sorry for myself that I can't find a guy, a girl on the talk show I was watching said, "You're never gonna find a guy sitting at home in your jammies with the cat." I'm sitting at home in my jammies with the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 805

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 5 years getting intimate with my best friend. When they saw me they immediately stopped and said nothing. After about 5 seconds of silence my boyfriend yells "April fools!" April Fools was 12 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138 096

You deserved it 7 971

Today, I found out the girl my husband's been calling "Sister" isn't actually his sister, but instead a hooker whose work name is "Sister". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 914

You deserved it 468

Today, my boss created a WhatsApp group called "Forever Alone", added me and only me, and then left so that I could be the only person in the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 241

You deserved it 287

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 655

You deserved it 6 618

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 8 377