Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard...

By jshi8 - 04/08/2011 14:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 79 901

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Same thing different taste

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 650

You deserved it 7 289

Bought or stolen

By dump truck hater - 03/06/2015 16:18 - United States - Austin

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 787

You deserved it 2 223

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 668

You deserved it 543

By AwwChute - 21/02/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 021

You deserved it 32 722

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 931

You deserved it 5 229

By Typrokka - 22/10/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 160

You deserved it 32 196

By badluckantonio - 25/08/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 040

You deserved it 3 030

Herbie Kirby

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 12:00

Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 124

By ToiletRoll - 29/03/2015 12:49 - Australia - Frankston

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 329

You deserved it 2 751

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 918

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

try a toilet next time?

nekros_fml 5

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

what are you doing taking a dump behind a dumpster? Were you born in a barn?

Comments

MyLifeRox20 0

Friday 5 August 2011 0:28

your story is bullshit. what did you plan to wipe with if u were actually doing this?

ScreamingSkullz9 0

Friday 5 August 2011 0:34

ok obviously a toilet wasnt an option idiots

SleepOnStones 5

Friday 5 August 2011 0:34

I bet the hobo that lives behind that dumpster was pissed that you shat on his home.

Ginkle45 1

Friday 5 August 2011 0:37

Who does that?

keshaforever1 14

Friday 5 August 2011 0:44

that's nasty...use a toilet next time kk?

moomoocrazychick 0

Friday 5 August 2011 0:46

So that wasn't cat poop I stepped in

lovebetsymac 0

Friday 5 August 2011 1:01

that's why it's called a dumpster!duhh

chelseaaababyyy 17

Friday 5 August 2011 1:13

what i love most about this fml is that he says he was taking a dump behind a dumpster like this is completely normal.

michaelonfire 0

Friday 5 August 2011 1:18

Dumb asss

catmangocat 1

Friday 5 August 2011 1:25

JOHHHHHHHHHHHHN its philip way to go

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The Top

Today, I walked in on my son having sex with his girlfriend. An hour later, I did it again and got quite annoyed, and yelled at them for having sex again. He said, "What do you mean again? We haven’t finished yet." My son has been having sex for over an hour. Man, do I feel inadequate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 1 996

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of two years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307 275

You deserved it 20 888

The Top

Today, I attempted to wax my "lady area". It hurt more than losing my virginity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 089

You deserved it 9 906

Today, I was delivering the HiLux my dad bought for my brother's birthday. At a red light, my bitter ex-girlfriend saw me and threw a roadworks sign at me, breaking the driver's side window. My brother insists I probably did it myself out of jealousy, so our dad is making me pay for the repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 148

Today, I found out that my childhood vacation home was on sale for 149K. We sold it for 99K 9 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 229

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 730

You deserved it 3 538

Today, I sneezed four times in succession. The problem is that I've never sneezed more than three times in a row in my life, so the fourth one came as such a shock to me that I accidentally banged my head on my desk when it occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 289

Today, after we got home from the doctor's office, my mom checked the voicemail. Loud and clear, we both heard my boyfriend's break-up message. My parents had already forbidden me from dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 27 721