Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket...

By GrahamCracker - 21/05/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 669

You deserved it 8 944

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/06/2015 05:35 - Australia - Rydalmere

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 583

You deserved it 2 139

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 628

You deserved it 3 246

By penny-dropping - 16/04/2012 04:24 - United States

Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 421

You deserved it 3 142

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 146

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 819

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 030

You deserved it 2 643

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 964

You deserved it 4 787

By Anonymous - 30/11/2014 04:44 - United States - Mahwah

Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 658

You deserved it 3 561

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 288

You deserved it 3 664

Sorry Stuart…

By connor1701 - 27/02/2017 20:00

Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 364

You deserved it 648

bnwranbo 2

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:10

dude.... i was in the middle of eating breakfast...

djizzle 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 16:09

oh shit holy shit i would've thrown up all over the desk fyl ew.

Comments

MissWillyB 0

Friday 22 May 2009 0:39

Stuff like that makes me so nervous..roaches seriously make me cry. FYL...

xstaticdelta 6

Friday 22 May 2009 0:40

BATH man ur pathetic

EziyaMinamoto 0

Friday 22 May 2009 1:12

That just sucks...You shouldn't keep pencils in your pocket!

x3xmandamoox3x 0

Friday 22 May 2009 1:23

omfg thats awful. i would cryyy ah!

jessxoxo28 5

Friday 22 May 2009 1:29

that is so gross and scary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i would have flipped out!!!! take a shower!!!!!!

crazieeli 0

Friday 22 May 2009 1:34

dude, how long have you not done your laundry? thats disgusting!

Tachi_fml 0

Friday 22 May 2009 1:47

For every one cockroach you see, there are fifty more you don't see. :|

caretoshare 0

Friday 22 May 2009 3:11

GROOSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the hell do you keep in your pants, dude?? ew. that is just....just FYL.

xO_starstruck_xO 0

Friday 22 May 2009 3:26

ew coackroach in your pocket?! ... it's called a shower.

party_hardy 0

Friday 22 May 2009 5:14

EWWWW. That's nasty. *Gags*

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The Top

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 905

You deserved it 13 915

Today, I was working my job checking people in at the gym. A sweaty, chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied, "We like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said, "So how did you get the job?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 926

You deserved it 15 103

The Top

Today, UPS dropped off my Playstation VR2. They were supposed to get a signature but they just dropped it off and left it. By the time I got the notification that it had been delivered, it had already been stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 102

Today, my boyfriend opened the car door in a very kind and loving way. What wasn't so kind and loving was that my hand was still half-way when he closed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 578

You deserved it 3 762

Today, I caught my little sister taking a selfie in the mirror with a fake nose piercing, peace sign, and a duck face. She's 12. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 591

You deserved it 4 246

Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 271

You deserved it 3 844

Today, two people came up to me at school, asking if I'd sell them some of my Adderall. I only just transferred here and have never mentioned my ADHD or the Adderall I take for it to anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 466

You deserved it 942

Today, I learned after weeks of waiting that my order of vinyl siding had been shipped to a contractor in another state, who installed it without realizing it was the wrong style and color. I would have to wait weeks for a new shipment, except the manufacturer has discontinued it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 711

You deserved it 162

Same thing different taste

Night visitor

Hi guys

Sorry Stuart…

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