Health: Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under...

By ilovedirt - 10/07/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 320

You deserved it 3 767

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Same thing different taste

By pod - 25/06/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend threw me into his pool. I had my phone and iPod in my pockets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 665

You deserved it 5 407

The language of love

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 16:17 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 697

You deserved it 4 496

By wrongman - 14/02/2018 19:00

Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 609

You deserved it 7 721

By babydoll13211 - 04/09/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 318

You deserved it 66 302

By WetPhone - 15/06/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I was being pulled into a pool by my girlfriend. To avoid ruining my phone, I tossed it into one of the chairs behind me. I missed and it landed into the hot tub behind it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 615

You deserved it 11 058

By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 17:19 - Australia - Perth

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 431

You deserved it 37 121

By howniceofyou - 01/08/2011 18:12 - Canada

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. They grabbed and lifted me in the air, about to throw me in the pool. My iPhone was in my pocket, so I screamed "MY PHONE!" They paused so I could gently throw it onto a deck chair. It bounced, hit the concrete, and cracked its screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 511

You deserved it 13 123

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 851

You deserved it 56 832

By kyle - 05/06/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 919

You deserved it 3 713

By qtpieo1 - 13/08/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 508

You deserved it 9 733

hannahtaskey 9

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:27

No ***** were given that day.

beryd 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:30

At least your still getting some color. : )

Comments

plebeianFelix 5

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:34

on the bright side, you couldn't have provided a more accurate description of the mechanics involved.

Livinia 11

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:34

Your 'friend' sounds like a moron.

detective_oreo 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 10:23

nice picture

Glitterhinoceros 14

Sunday 10 July 2011 17:13

So does the boyfriend.

sweetheartslim 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 6:50

you have such a beautiful profile picture, I admit I'm a little jealous

fiju 15

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:35

sucks for you :/ but at least be happy cause you're tiny or he wouldn't be able to pick you up and throw you :D

MrSexyPants 14

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:35

He ain't no Pokemon trainer, bitch.

jackiemoonthepro 5

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:35

you should've pulled off some sweet flips and landed in the kiddie pool

birdfreak 24

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:36

ouch. that sucks. I have bruises on my knees. stupid gym.

crowbar_2010 2

Monday 11 July 2011 7:09

suuuuuure it was the gym. how do you explain the white stuff on your face?! you cant play the sour cream card again,fool!

swittig 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:37

Good Guy Greg would have caught you.

Cressalys 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:45

I bet Scumbag Steve was the one who threw her.

Cressalys 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:49

Btw if you're on funny junk we should front page this.

cumverg 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:55

Or on Reddit. Or on 4chan. Or on Memebase.

Cressalys 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 10:24

True that ^

ariannaimelda 7

Sunday 10 July 2011 11:18

and Lazy Larry didn't catch her

J1hill33 12

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:41

you should know that you're never safe around your friends

Shadow_Phantom 26

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:46

What a douche... FYL.

kjt321 0

Sunday 10 July 2011 9:48

Lolol

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while we were at a museum I like, my wife told me she was “in the mood” so we quickly drove home, where she suddenly “wasn’t in the mood anymore.” I get the feeling she was bored with the museum, and lied to me to come home earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 237

Today, I had a dream that I cheated on my boyfriend. With the person he was when we started dating. We’ve been dating for two and a half years and I love him, but he’s so different than when I first met him. Even though he’s technically the same person, I can’t help but feel like I cheated on him with him in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 287

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, my husband and I were fighting over money. As we were arguing, our 13 year-old daughter stole $250 dollars from my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 046

You deserved it 14 892

Today, while I was showering, a dark object in the shower kept startling me. After about the fourth time jumping, I realized it was my shadow that was scaring me. I am actually literally afraid of my own shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 989

You deserved it 30 115

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate on the bathroom floor. Somehow my nose managed to start bleeding, so he bent me over the tub and kept going because he didn't want to "ruin the moment". FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 767

You deserved it 9 824

Today, after spending 8 months and $11,000 on school, I was denied a job in my chosen career field. They told me they decided to go with someone with more experience. So who got the job? One of my classmates. This is her first job. EVER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 912

You deserved it 3 785

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 1 408

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 509

You deserved it 6 367

Same thing different taste

The language of love

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