Intimacy: Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered...

By Dilly - 10/10/2010 20:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 823

You deserved it 9 291

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Same thing different taste

By iailwkrb - 26/02/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 901

You deserved it 28 012

By Scarred - 22/09/2018 12:00

Today, my Nana asked me to get her a book from her nightstand, but failed to specify which nightstand was hers. I stumbled across my grandparents' collection of sex toys instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 085

You deserved it 313

For all ages

By You Wish - 07/03/2009 07:35 - United States

Today, I was sitting on my 70 year-old grandmother's bed with my older brother. I decided to snoop through the cabinet at the back of her bed, and I pulled out what I naively thought was a strange looking flashlight. When I twisted the bottom of it to see what would happen, it started vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 541

You deserved it 71 760

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 395

You deserved it 619

By Anonymous - 16/01/2013 05:52 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack. I picked it up, sniffed it and put it on my face as a joke. She replied with, "Those are my mother's." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 53 645

One day…

By Animal - 24/02/2011 19:14 - Canada

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 284

You deserved it 17 105

By Perpetually F-ed. - 17/01/2009 14:25 - United States

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 364

You deserved it 9 328

By Anonymous - 26/01/2016 03:44 - United States - Arcadia

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 714

You deserved it 1 299

By for fuck's sake, gran - 25/07/2015 05:30 - United States - Bainbridge

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 489

You deserved it 1 778

By poop - 08/03/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 050

You deserved it 22 152

3mi1y_ 16

Monday 11 October 2010 0:47

I love gullible people :')

perdix 29

Monday 11 October 2010 1:01

Looks like Gran is getting ready for a very special kind of facial. Is Gramps still around or is Gran going have to snag a bloke at the local pub to provide the other fluid of this "treatment?"

Comments

jose1760 1

Monday 11 October 2010 5:10

50- Oh did I offend your boyfriend that's very manly of you to stick up for him! oh no pun intended! lol take him to get a hair cut please

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 11 October 2010 5:23

Gran Gran was a chemist back in the day. She knows that the lube combined with some preparation H on the face will take years off and tighten up that wrinkly skin. It'll tighten up that vag too, so she'll be "Like a virgin". That's why they call it "Very Cherry".

sunshineebabyy 0

Monday 11 October 2010 5:27

haha, well isn't that funny. should be interesting trying to get that back.

Oumaima101 0

Monday 11 October 2010 5:55

haha Maybe u should've told her!!!! And save ur self from this embarressement!!!:)

boopityboppity 11

Monday 11 October 2010 5:59

Oh yeah, jose1760? Well, yo' momma so fat she's in three time zones. Sorry, but I figured any attempt at one of my typical comments wouldn't be at your intellectual level, so I wrote something that might be within your mental grasp. I hope you get a paper cut while making lemonade. Cheers.

tiffyxmac 0

Monday 11 October 2010 6:04

haha that's ****** up.

x3herox3 0

Monday 11 October 2010 6:51

Shuld jus say it's for ur use only.

boopityboppity 11

Monday 11 October 2010 6:54

You should just say what you mean, instead of requiring the reader to have a Rosetta Stone for "stupid."

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Monday 11 October 2010 7:25

#9 - win! lmao!

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Monday 11 October 2010 7:31

Let me add that you should make sure any special applicator or "toyz" u may have stay out of "Gran's reach" as well... or maybe she found those first and u just don't know it yet!!