Intimacy: Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the...

By Milly - 30/01/2011 19:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to help a very slow-witted client over the phone. After a while, I realised he was just delaying while pleasuring himself to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 629

You deserved it 4 090

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Same thing different taste

Sir! Sir!

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 365

You deserved it 3 534

By long day - 12/11/2013 20:29 - United States - Bay City

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 3 889

Listen up

By Ryan - 01/09/2022 21:00 - Canada - Quesnel

Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 2 037

By automaticfail_00 - 17/06/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 114

You deserved it 5 067

By Anonymous - 17/03/2018 05:00

Today, while working at my dead-end call centre job that couldn't get any worse, I answered a call from a customer who was having loud sex. I still needed to sound professional and tell her when a product was released. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 698

You deserved it 423

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 983

You deserved it 7 876

By Anonymous - 16/05/2012 20:34 - Netherlands - Kerkrade

Today, I called my boyfriend during his lunch break. He started to place his order at a fast food joint, and trying to be funny, I started moaning sexily after each part of his order. I eventually realised I was on speaker when I heard snickering in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 738

You deserved it 32 283

Hot and heavy

By Lickmylovepump - 19/01/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend insisted that we try phone sex. He started telling me all the things he wanted to do to me while breathing heavily. Unfortunately, it sounded so ridiculous, I burst out laughing. He hung up on me, and has refused to pick up since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 442

You deserved it 35 591

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 080

You deserved it 51 001

By melikeyturtles - 10/10/2011 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to work as a home health-aid, and found out that my client turns his hearing aid off on purpose because he can't stand my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 555

You deserved it 4 786

Mpsteve13 7

Monday 31 January 2011 0:12

don't have phone sex, you'll get hearing aids boys and girls

Doortje 29

Monday 31 January 2011 0:26

If you were pleased with our service, press 1.

Comments

leprachaun405 0

Monday 31 January 2011 2:09

I'm sorry but your voice is just so sexy:/ I couldnt help myself.....lol WTF

yaboy95 0

Monday 31 January 2011 2:24

WTF!!??

sadday1987 2

Monday 31 January 2011 2:44

You should be flattered

Peaceout0608_ 0

Monday 31 January 2011 3:06

Wow. Thats gross. Well at least you know you have a nice voice ;) hahahhaa

MrBond007_fml 6

Monday 31 January 2011 7:17

yup it's every girls dream to have a voice that guys can whack off to

evilcartman 0

Monday 31 January 2011 3:36

ydi for having a work number that starts with 1-900

Rand_fml 0

Monday 31 January 2011 3:38

Who's the slow wit now??? lol

Sathian 0

Monday 31 January 2011 4:07

Who is?

crayjake 0

Monday 31 January 2011 4:04

my bad I thought you were a guy

drm82895 0

Monday 31 January 2011 4:06

DAMNIT dad not again...

SCrazy_fml 0

Monday 31 January 2011 5:11

You should be honoured! Sure it's creepy but atleast you have a fan...

bubbarific 0

Monday 31 January 2011 5:59

how do u kno he was jacking off to ur voice, maybe he was juss watching **** while he was talking to u, dont flatter urself OP

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Sex Intimacy Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 119

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

The Top

Today, I was walking in the mall with my friends when one of them pointed at a store and commented, "Bae Goals." My fat ass thought she said "bagels" and I actually got excited at the thought of eating a bagel, even after I realized my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 548

You deserved it 481

Today, I was laid off from the job I'd had for two years. They couldn't even manage to spell my name or the company's name right on the severance letter. Guess I was a memorable employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 387

You deserved it 403

Today, I had to create a new password for my computer. I had to do it to stop my father from watching porn on my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 328

You deserved it 114

Today, I was hit on by a guy while I was walking my dog. He said some crude stuff about my chest. I called my husband to pick me up, and after he'd got me my husband blamed me for it, saying I should dress more conservatively. I was wearing a tank top with a zip up hoodie (unzipped) over it, jeans, and flip flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 178

Today, I found out that all of the times my mom told me that she was busy out of town wasn’t due to work, it was that she was going on vacations with her boyfriend and his kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 620

You deserved it 127

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 909

You deserved it 2 432