Intimacy: Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message...

By Username - 15/06/2011 01:17 - United Kingdom

Today, I was unbelievably horny so I sent a kinky text message to a boy I really like, only to receive the reply, "Not tonight, I'm raging Minecraft, having a wank, and going to sleep. Try again tomorrow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 390

You deserved it 15 738

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Same thing different taste

Sexy talk

By Anonymous - 16/01/2016 06:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied, "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 009

You deserved it 4 818

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 678

You deserved it 6 641

By McKenna - 16/07/2011 04:10 - United States

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 17 915

By giantcuntflaps - 13/12/2014 16:03 - Australia

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 530

You deserved it 6 871

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 17:59 - United States - Imperial

Today, my fiancé texted me, saying he'd been masturbating to pictures of me. I told him that I couldn't wait to get home and take care of him. He replied, "Nah, don't bother, I got this." Now I'm horny and sad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 092

You deserved it 7 768

By princess - 17/03/2009 05:06 - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 964

You deserved it 40 648

By Oops54321 - 28/09/2009 07:12 - France

Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 727

You deserved it 33 266

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 355

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 977

You deserved it 10 760

By yup - 05/06/2011 07:23 - United States

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 206

You deserved it 57 252

fallout125 2

Wednesday 15 June 2011 8:32

yes minecraft is that awesome

dudeitsdanny 9

Wednesday 15 June 2011 8:35

Get a vibrator, and turn on some ****. And, word of advice, don't sext a boy you just happen to like. It won't end well. He will either ignore you or turn you down.. Or use you. Very few of us would date a girl we can have, anyways.. And those of us who would are, in majority, part of the ignoring group. Get some class with that vibrator, too. Try not to look so desperate.

Comments

krissyrawr 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 6:07

rejected!

zuczman 0

Saturday 18 June 2011 14:07

maaaaahahahahahahahaha! hes a gamer! xD

kendallkbabe7787 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 6:17

tell him "rain checks are for pussys, which you will never be getting any of."

gmc_blossom 21

Sunday 19 June 2011 7:43

It must be the exploding penis' that made him want to go have a wank afterwards. (I do believe the exploding penis' are called creepers...I'm not sure. My brother calls them exploding penis', so that's what I call them.)

CrazyEminemFan 2

Monday 20 June 2011 5:47

a video game or a girl? hmm thats a difficult decision

akajtm11 0

Monday 20 June 2011 8:24

maybe he's mentally retarded

epicepidural 2

Monday 20 June 2011 11:56

don't mess with a guy and his minecraft.

TheSniperTurtle 1

Monday 20 June 2011 15:42

I find the flame wars in the comments more sad than the FML... Minecraft is probably one of only a few things that a guy would rather do than something sexual, though. :/