Miscellaneous: Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my...

By Adrian16 - 18/01/2010 11:01 - Norway

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 410

You deserved it 65 708

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sucker

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 14:01

Today, I tried out my new noise-canceling headphones while vacuuming my house. They worked so well that I didn't hear the vacuum stop when the plug fell out of the outlet. I accidentally had the vacuum off the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 1 018

By ouch - 12/12/2009 20:36 - United States

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 944

You deserved it 41 956

That sucks

By Anonymous - 29/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 484

You deserved it 968

By anonymous - 20/03/2013 05:42 - United States

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 252

You deserved it 4 735

"If I could turn back time…"

By inappropes - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I came into work early to clean equipment, with my headphones on, singing to myself. I lost track of time, and wound up with the entire office watching me belt tunes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 993

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 413

You deserved it 1 292

By baldspot - 02/04/2012 05:38 - Australia

Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 980

You deserved it 2 886

By No-Sleep Nellie - 07/07/2015 13:26 - United States - Waterloo

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 935

You deserved it 1 721

By superhero1043 - 14/05/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I realized that my baby stops crying loudly whenever I turn on the vacuum cleaner. I'm either stuck with a fussy baby all day, or the roaring sound of a vacuum cleaner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 604

You deserved it 5 229

Definitely done that

By Anonymous - 18/10/2019 04:00

Today, at work, I put my earphones in to listen to some music. An hour later, I realised I never pressed play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 1 176

harrisonmoon 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:10

you totally deserve it for being so dumb. wouldn't you at least been able to feel if it's on or something?

Xellith 5

Monday 18 January 2010 16:11

******* idiot..

Comments

catfriend44 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:25

lmfao how can u not tell how the vaccum isnt on?!?

Macho_Madness 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:25

Tell the truth Dude-ski, save us all the big bummer.

beachycat 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:26

Wow, nice. You couldn't tell if the vacuum was on?

YoungE 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:28

boo hoo ii spent two hrs being dumb b/c ii couldnt tell if the vacuum was off...how is this an FML?

ibanezrick 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:29

OP has been watching too many "Just the Ten of Us" reruns. "Turn an 80s sitcom into an FML and hope no one remembers" FTL.

daneeyoll 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:34

i wanna know what kinda vacuum cleaner that is. I'm pretty sure you could feel the vibration

douchbaggins 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:35

How do you even dress yourself in the morning?

itsfilbert 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:36

Way to be norwegian, it usually sucks up larger crums and stuff and you usually realize if it doesnt. This is no FML, its just plain retarded.

BlueTwist89 0

Monday 18 January 2010 16:44

Lol ik, what #3 said. I mean, did you even bother to plug in the vacuum?

mortegataco 2

Monday 18 January 2010 16:46

I say fake!!!

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Covid Argument Kids Parenting Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, during dinner, my mom told my dad and me in great detail about the "awesome" new cosmetic surgery idea she just had: constructing earlobes for lobeless ears, using skin taken from women's labia. I was forced to sit through this until I finished my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 356

You deserved it 4 298

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 84 245

The Top

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said, "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 052

You deserved it 12 707

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 424

You deserved it 8 856

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 364

Today, I walked outside and found our kitten, my kids' favorite pet, convulsing and choking on the carport. Nothing we did helped and she died in my arms five minutes later. We've buried her, and I'm dreading going home and telling my boys that she's passed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 112

Today, my friend and I stopped at a convenience store. She mentioned that it was was "a bad part of town", and I angrily reminded her that just because it's a poor area doesn't make it bad, and that she needed to be more tolerant. We then got jumped, beaten, and robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 1 189

Today, I learned not to take sex tips from virgins seriously. "Have sex in the shower", they said. "It'll be fun", they said. Well they didn't take slippage into account. One busted nose and concussion later, I'm not seeing the "fun" part at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 271

You deserved it 7 422