Kids: Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere,...

By Al - 22/06/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 923

You deserved it 3 354

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Same thing different taste

ARE YOU ******* SORRY?

By Evelyn - 19/03/2012 20:18 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my friends. We were all having fun on the swings, when out of nowhere I heard a thud, followed by a child crying. Turns out I accidentally kicked him in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 508

You deserved it 7 898

By bbbkingsey - 23/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, while walking through the park, a little boy came running up to me and hit me in the nuts with a stick. I fell on the ground and looked up just in time to see his mom giving him the thumbs up with a smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 883

You deserved it 4 373

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 967

You deserved it 40 499

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 00:01

Today, as I was jogging on the boardwalk, an old guy tripped me with his cane. As I was getting back up, I heard him say to his wife, "I wanted to see if she would actually fall." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 968

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 24/08/2011 06:34 - Canada

Today, I was chased on my bike by a couple of guys in a car. I rode into a public park to cut through and try to lose them. I looked by to check if they were following me, but they had to stop. I laughed, looked forward, and rammed into a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 303

You deserved it 9 558

By Lucas79 - 08/10/2011 01:23 - Australia

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 250

You deserved it 3 437

By fuck right off - 04/04/2015 17:32 - United Kingdom - Coalville

Today, as I was walking to work, a cyclist shot out of nowhere and slammed into me. I hit the ground hard and lay there in agony. The guy quickly dusted himself off, said "Sorry man. It's a vicious cycle." then chuckled at his own stupid pun and cycled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 537

You deserved it 3 025

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

Didn't see ya there!

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 19:10 - United States - West Chester

Today, I was outside talking to my new neighbor. I was gesturing while talking and didn't notice the little kid riding her bike coming our way. I ended up accidentally smacking her in the face and knocking her off her bike. Apparently she's my new neighbor's daughter. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 098

You deserved it 2 376

I would do anything for my kids

By Claus - 07/10/2023 22:00

Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 147

redbluegreen 40

Monday 22 June 2009 12:10

I hope your comeback was, "Watch your kid, dipshit!" That is unless you were facing her and saw it coming. Then, you might've been better off moving.

nike1 0

Monday 22 June 2009 12:09

What a sick father :S I hope you're OK.

Comments

nazooer 11

Monday 22 June 2009 13:07

That kids going to be a hooker

McLaughlane 0

Monday 22 June 2009 13:14

your response should have been: "keep a better leash on your spawn, asshole."

Crickets 0

Monday 22 June 2009 15:14

HAHAHA

ArthursLifeSucks 2

Monday 22 June 2009 13:24

Just another reason I am in favor of mass sterilization. Think of all the benefits of population control: plenty of food for everyone so nobody starves, reduced carbon emissions so global warming is controlled, less crowding in cities, and fewer retarded kids riding their bikes into your ballsack. It's win-win.

chocogatto12 3

Monday 22 June 2009 14:22

I like the way you think

gvschmidt94 0

Monday 22 June 2009 18:43

I agree 100% but think about it, that's kind of what Hitler wanted. Lmao. Except I think he took a litttttttttle bit of a more direct approach. XD

mattmag 0

Monday 22 June 2009 19:00

I would advocate not only mass sterilization, but mass extermination. Just extend the death penalty so that all criminals are executed, no matter what the offense. Littering = death. Shoplifting = death. Running a red light = death. And so forth.

ohhhhshizzz 0

Monday 22 June 2009 20:51

sarcasm ccyto.

notnormal 0

Monday 22 June 2009 21:39

that sounds vaguely reminiscent of Cat's Cradle...probably a little extreme, but you're on the right track.

suhjinko2 0

Monday 22 June 2009 22:17

I AGREE and if that little girl killed herself, she'd probably be given a posthumous Darwin award. :)

Existantia 0

Tuesday 23 June 2009 0:48

I know plenty of smart people who know shit about parenting. This better be a damn good quiz hahaha.

oogyboogy 6

Tuesday 23 June 2009 4:44

Are you kidding that is scary it's called. Communism you don't want that...

maggy_fml 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 2:30

maybe a tax on people who have kids that have a combined IQ score under certain level. anyone under that combined shouldn't have kids. so an idiot should look for a genius xD, so atleast one parent would raise the child smart. maybe in dreamland

Tubasaurus 0

Monday 22 June 2009 13:36

Yet another reason I hate little fucktard brat children and their fucktard parents.

ria_rawrs 7

Monday 22 June 2009 13:48

That's happened to me before. I was walking and this kid on a tricycle ran into me from behind, tripping me up, and his mum decided to shout at me instead. Assuming she hit you from behind, FYL. And I hope your ankle is okay.