Money: Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some...

By dude - 24/03/2009 20:52 - United States

Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 142

You deserved it 34 271

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 30/04/2012 21:46 - United States - Tampa

Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 815

You deserved it 43 271

By pinkrazrgirl247 - 03/07/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 437

You deserved it 52 216

By whathehell - 27/04/2013 08:28 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 140

You deserved it 3 643

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 673

You deserved it 2 578

Captain Badass

By NotAsToughAsHeThinks - 14/02/2011 03:25 - United States

Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 162

You deserved it 54 043

By Tanner - 16/07/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 449

You deserved it 3 684

By unknown - 12/06/2013 17:33 - United States - Tulare

Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 003

You deserved it 4 483

By hobosarea-holes - 14/08/2010 23:10 - United States

Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 296

You deserved it 3 776

By who_could_it_be - 06/08/2009 13:35 - Canada

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 558

You deserved it 570 263

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 856

You deserved it 4 481

MonkeySpeaks 4

Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:06

Honestly, have you not learned to never take out your wallet or show how much cash you have on the streets? Thats just basic.

Bubs_fml 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 1:05

Gotta watch out for that Falcon Punch. Even homeless women can do it.

Comments

Art_Vandeley 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 6:58

Bums are tough.

llamatrauma 5

Wednesday 25 March 2009 6:59

i love the doubters. "FAKE!!!" sweet cynicism. you can most definitely be knocked unconscious without having brain damage. when i was younger i accidentally put my head through a glass window and was out cold for like 15 minutes. now i'm studying to be a doctor.

uhnonnuhmus 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 7:09

I just hand every bum a bar of soap and go my merry way.

supercoolperson 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 7:47

"OP... you're an idiot. Why give money to people who obviously have trouble handling their finances? You'd be better off using your money as toilet paper." Wow, you obviously have no sense of altruism and a very closed mind. 2/5 of homeless people report having some form of a mental illness and close to 1/4 of them meet the criteria for a serious mental illness (such as schizophrenia).

xlimepops 2

Wednesday 25 March 2009 8:00

YDI for keeping WAY too much money in your wallet.

Endymion_fml 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 8:18

Hey, #115. I bet ther are similar statistics concerning your modern teenager. Anyway, it's all a ploy to avoid getting a job. And a closed mind? Most of them are on the streets for drinking and drugs anyway.

wichitagirl87 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 8:37

Damn that is ****** UP how the hell does that happen she must have hit you pretty hard right where it hurts and then kicked you while you were down... doesn't sound like you hit her back so I guess you could at least call yourself a gentleman for not hitting a woman.. even though she's homeless, but who knows maybe you'll see her again and get some revenge and kick her ass.. better bulk up!

erty228 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 9:53

HAHAHAHA!!!! funniest thing i've heard in a looong time!

nateisntcreative 0

Wednesday 25 March 2009 11:13

YDI for a lot of the aforementioned reasons - giving money, exposing wallet, carrying 200, getting taken by a 5 ft. girl. I know element of surprise is hers, but still you should be able to win that one. I hate people who comment about time frame like "wait, so you got knocked out and came right home to post on fml?" A) maybe so. B) FML requires "today," didn't necessarily happen today. And maybe this is fake (i.e. maybe they all are), but who cares? I laughed.