Animals: Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out...

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 979

You deserved it 5 357

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Same thing different taste

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 038

You deserved it 3 007

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 2 658

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 1 975

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 997

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 253

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 2 814

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 2 894

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 121

Be careful out there

By Burningeyes - 09/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 75

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:05

Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?

Comments

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

eminemXshady 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:07

Born through the tip of his penis.

NCR 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:25

ow my penis hurts now

eminemXshady 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:34

Your welcome

paigeorpage1 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:45

errrr doesnt work like that I'm afraid lol dumass

CardMaster1992 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

happy = gay

Yinky 6

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:08

Doggy style!

ptxace 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:17

Jus about to say that ahah

sammywhits 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:54

always the way to go.

Rebe_fml 4

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:09

you know you liked it.

KJLD5 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:10

allo bonerrz. just sayin that i ****** LUV ur space between ur teeth. my bed?

urdirtyolduncle 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:10

other way around

maa_rico 4

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:12

So you must know what op is talking about. Nice sandwich btw.

ladybug108 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:12

if I saw that. I'd laugh and take pictures to:) haha

trixy81 10

Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:24

same!

urdirtyolduncle 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:13

is that his actual picture?

Yinky 6

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:13

Your def. the bitch in this situation. :P

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 780

You deserved it 5 987

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

The Top

Today, I'm dating a trans girl, who is also my best friend. She confessed to me long ago that she was born male, and that wasn't a big deal to me. The problem is that my family is constantly harassing her, because I should have been "with a real girl instead of a monster with severed genitals." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 490

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 306

You deserved it 3 244

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433 435

You deserved it 46 725

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy. I used to be her college professor and I’d given up my career of 22 years, my wife and kids, and my house in Boca Raton just for her. Nice to know this is the thanks I get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 3 185

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 538

You deserved it 2 119

Today, my boss decided that a mug and a public 'thank you' were a sufficient substitute for a Christmas bonus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 469

You deserved it 3 887

Same thing different taste

Unattack dog

Bad doggo

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

Cujo

STRANGER DANGER!

Be careful out there

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