Animals: Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out...

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By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 985

You deserved it 5 358

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By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

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By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

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By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 753

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By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 389

You deserved it 6 390

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By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 1 002

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 1 257

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By anon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 607

You deserved it 2 875

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 024

You deserved it 2 896

So sorry!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 540

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 121

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:05

Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?

Comments

annihil8or 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:13

Sue owner? Then take pictures of that!

maa_rico 4

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:14

19 pencil dick much?

anonymous595 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:16

it must hav been sexy if ppl took pics n watched;-) haha

zebraface 15

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:17

hahaha that's funny

fallout125 2

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:18

that's why you shoot the dog owners need to control their pets

itman3456 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:06

damn calm the **** dwn

NRA_advocate 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 12:28

hell yeah

ugliness 6

Tuesday 29 March 2011 15:18

please tell me fallout is a troll >_> I have little hope for humanity

ntx_vette 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:18

you ******* **** tease.. let me guess, doggy-style?

tykiej 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:20

Sounds like something my husband would do. The humping, that is.

marriiee_fml 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:57

too.much.information

LSU33DucKAholiC 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:22

your husband would hump a random dude in the park??!

Alderman55 0

Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:57

72 - no..........but a random dog is contemplatable for her husband

KFCkoolaidWaterm 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:25

Stop trying to find out the dog's sexual preference. Jesus crap.

Jaalro 2

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:25

Haha, yeah it is

Nikieejay 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:26

sounds exciting...

killedmyteacher 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:37

nice pic. looks like your taking it doggy style too.

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