Animals: Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out...

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By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 985

You deserved it 5 358

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Same thing different taste

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By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 044

You deserved it 3 011

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 369

You deserved it 2 659

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 753

You deserved it 1 978

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 389

You deserved it 6 390

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 1 002

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 1 257

Hands off

By anon - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman ran up to me and whacked me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 607

You deserved it 2 875

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 024

You deserved it 2 896

So sorry!

By Anonymous - 15/04/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took my dog to the park, and he ran straight into a group of people having a picnic. Naturally, he grabbed the biggest piece of meat in sight and ran off with it. As I chased him, I tripped and fell in front of everyone. My dog then sat and chewed the meat in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 540

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 121

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:05

Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?

Comments

NCR 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:12

well it appears animals are interested in you

matt1990 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:15

tha dog was in tha mood. it happens.

wickwackliljack 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:21

how dare he not buy you dinner first!!!

stephanyk2 7

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:31

Ooh...... That'd be embarrassing.

LinTurk 4

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:38

That sucks, but it doesn't sound like any real harm was done.

nomz333 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:39

good doggy

CaptinFalconKnig 6

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:39

did you fall down and got hump in slow motion saying Noooooooo!!!!

NCR 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:41

it's natural I asked my doctor about random check ups she says random humping is natural...

ntx_vette 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:42

should have washed the peanut butter out of your ass better...

imsoninja 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:00

LOL :p

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I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 402

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I agree, your life sucks 46 571

You deserved it 6 016

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You deserved it 2 342