Animals: Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out...

By -_- - 29/03/2011 02:22 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park with my girlfriend, when out of nowhere, I was savaged and brutally humped into submission by a massive Great Dane. Not only did my girlfriend watch it all, but the dog's owner took the time to snap a few pictures with his phone. Neither bothered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 979

You deserved it 5 357

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Same thing different taste

Unattack dog

By woofwoof - 30/12/2014 04:17 - Turkey - Izmir

Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 038

You deserved it 3 007

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 2 658

By Anonymous - 01/09/2012 23:15 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 748

You deserved it 1 975

By fmlman - 15/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Rawlins

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 384

You deserved it 6 389

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 04:00 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I saw a cute dog. I reached down to pet it, but it snarled then bit me. As I was walking away, I saw the owner of the dog, who was laughing and filming the whole thing on his shitty cellphone. I hope the video isn't out there on TikTok or whatever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 997

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 253

By anon - 19/06/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, I took my dog for a walk. It became friendly with another dog, and I reached down to pet them both. Suddenly, an old woman runs up to me and whacks me with her cane repeatedly. Apparently, her previous dog had been kidnapped by a woman who looked a lot like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 2 814

Cujo

By Doglover - 13/10/2011 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 021

You deserved it 2 894

STRANGER DANGER!

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend and I attempted to help a little girl who was alone and looked lost. All I managed to say was, "Hi my name is…" when she screamed and set off an actual rape alarm in her pocket. I was tackled by about 3 people, while my girlfriend did nothing to help me except laugh and start filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 237

You deserved it 121

Be careful out there

By Burningeyes - 09/03/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when a lady approached me, commented how beautiful she was, and asked to pet her. I obliged and next thing I knew I was pushed to the ground and maced. She made off with my dog. The police is unable to locate them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 75

perdix 29

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:07

The good news is that in a few months, you'll have a litter of baby-puppies.

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 29 March 2011 6:05

Was this great Dane Beowulf or Hamlet?

Comments

NCR 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:12

well it appears animals are interested in you

matt1990 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:15

tha dog was in tha mood. it happens.

wickwackliljack 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:21

how dare he not buy you dinner first!!!

stephanyk2 7

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:31

Ooh...... That'd be embarrassing.

LinTurk 4

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:38

That sucks, but it doesn't sound like any real harm was done.

nomz333 5

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:39

good doggy

CaptinFalconKnig 6

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:39

did you fall down and got hump in slow motion saying Noooooooo!!!!

NCR 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:41

it's natural I asked my doctor about random check ups she says random humping is natural...

ntx_vette 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 7:42

should have washed the peanut butter out of your ass better...

imsoninja 0

Tuesday 29 March 2011 8:00

LOL :p

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The Top

Today, it's only day three of my annual vacation. Rest and relaxation? Afraid not! For the past days, I've been haunted by the constant thought of how much work will be piled up when I get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 139

Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 120

The Top

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 232

You deserved it 3 430

Today, police knocked on my door in middle of the night. They said there was a fire in one of the houses in our street, so they were evacuating houses. They wouldn’t let me go back and get dressed. As I was only in my underwear, they told me I could wait in their car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 92

Today, a co-worker at the restaurant I work decided it'd be a good idea to kiss my neck while giving me a hug. After I told him the kiss was too much, he wouldn't leave me alone or let me work in peace. I had to ask my sup to kick him out, all the while the event triggered my PTSD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 127

Today, my husband told me yet again that the last two years have been the worst of his life. Our two year anniversary is next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 640

You deserved it 4 778

Today, I found a bowl of green beans just sitting in my microwave. The only person in my life who ever eats green beans is my psycho ex-girlfriend. She moved out three months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 535

You deserved it 2 222

Today, my wife's parents came over, insisting they saw me at the bar at 1:30 p.m., talked to me, and that I left with another woman. I was at work all day. I have no idea what they are talking about, I've never done this. My wife doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 269

You deserved it 373