Money: Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there,...

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 428

You deserved it 5 579

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 6 843

By Richocet - 18/05/2009 00:35 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 36 333

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 443

You deserved it 3 390

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 581

You deserved it 2 558

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 945

You deserved it 3 136

By Operation Yewtree here I come - 26/09/2014 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 368

You deserved it 4 215

Headshot

By suhleedah18 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 358

You deserved it 2 745

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 733

You deserved it 844

By Elisa_LmR - 03/01/2014 23:28 - France

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 548

You deserved it 8 630

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 47 503

missxmelon 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:04

lol at least you weren't actually mugged!

AxCxDxDx 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:05

Would you have been more freaked out if it was someone you didn't know holding a banana to your head?

Comments

smallmac17 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:15

school on satrurday?

saranottelling 7

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:16

It probably didn't happen today. You are required to put "Today," in front of your FML when you submit it.

ohmigawdess 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:17

Ugh, this is such a bad FML. This website is run by idiots.

tj41567 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:24

how is this an fml. but ur dad is awsome

capthavoc123 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:26

Uh...Sorry you weren't robbed and killed?

UK_fml 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:36

Thisthis and this

bombtastic 10

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:46

sweet. let's have all of you have something to your head and have you laugh it off and see what happens. you guys are morons. if you had something being held to the back of your head, I'm sure you wouldn't laugh it off. goes to show none of you take any major situations seriously.

NewtonsApple 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:55

I can honestly say I hate your father XD

Spastastic 6

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:58

That's awesome. I'm pretty sure if my dad did that I would just burst out laughing as soon as I realized everything was okay...

dance_till_dawn 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 22:14

Yeah, your dad rules!

hawkie409 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 22:20

How this is an FML: 1- His dad might seriously be robbing him/other kids. 2- He might be allergic to bananas. 3- He couldve posibly peed himself, or have mild trauma of walking down streets alone again. Everytime he'd be paranoid, and that would be terrible. How this is a MLIA: 1- The dad is awesome for playing a joke. 2- With a banana  3- It would also be funny to laugh about later. So if this is an FML or MLIA, that depends on the OP.