Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if...

By Benji - 20/05/2009 19:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 553

You deserved it 7 506

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 17:46 - United States

Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 246

You deserved it 4 260

By mumblingdope - 25/05/2016 08:52 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 954

You deserved it 1 197

By Bruce - 02/02/2012 03:11 - United States

Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 505

You deserved it 3 423

By CoffeeStained - 10/11/2015 15:54 - United States - Richmond

Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 409

You deserved it 10 135

Thanks, lady

By Anonymous - 12/10/2017 23:15

Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 384

You deserved it 267

Butter fingers

By SplashOuch - 05/01/2010 17:58 - United States

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 954

You deserved it 7 196

For science

By Rach - 26/10/2023 04:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212

You deserved it 713

By holyshart - 05/06/2012 09:03 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 539

You deserved it 2 567

By Rach - 08/06/2010 14:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 4 391

By disheshateme - 18/11/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, it was my turn to do the suite's dishes. I was in the process of drying my roommate's coffee mug when the handle suddenly snapped off and the sharp edge left on the mug scraped down my arm. I now have a 3-inch long gash in my arm. I was attacked by a cheap coffee mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 706

You deserved it 3 986

the_boss_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:09

its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom

Peanu_theGreat 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 2:08

... You were naked?

Comments

fizzywizzy22 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 4:34

ydi, because mars tests on animals

Kiarra_fml 7

Thursday 21 May 2009 4:40

This is why I don't drink coffee. It does nothing but bring people harm and are u okay?

Icalasari 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 4:41

Who knows? Maybe you will find a girl who likes her wieners boiled ;P

epic_delight1337 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 4:48

wow u guys suck. his pants wernt off. he was wearing shorts. leg still shows out of shorts and it could have gone through them. i like how everyone immediatly assumed that you were naked with your mom. nice.

teebonehead 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 4:54

Let me get this story straight , you were sitting naked drinking coffee ,watching TV with your mum and she threw a candy bar at you and hit the coffee cup, splashed all over your naked wiener ? YDI

alex_vik 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 4:56

Ouch, no fapping for a while.

tko 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:01

well, my shorts go to my KNEES, so the only "bare skin" is from the knee down, and my penis doesn't reach just that far (YET, maybe it will grow a foot and a half :p) so i find it hard to imagine him burning BOTH his BARE legs and his penis, UNLESS he was naked...ew lol #3

dew_fml 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:07

Ok, let's see there's bare legs and he's drinking coffee which ive seen about 99% of people drink in the morning, wait, mabye he was sitting down in a robe in his underware, could have been open a little and look there's your explanation!

wrestler17 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:11

I agree with number 34 all the way

guitardedman 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 5:12

goddammit quit saying ******* proceeded!!!!!!! she THREW the ******* candy bar to you, she didnt proceed to throw it at you! god dammit quit being a ****** when you word your fml stories. why the **** don't my legit fmls get posted when idiots like this get theirs...