Kids: Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband...

By nosexlife - 12/09/2009 15:31 - United States

Today, I was with my seven year old daughter purchasing my husband a present for his birthday in a few weeks. At the register, in the very long line, I asked her where we could hide his present so he wouldn't find it, she responded loudly with "Hide it in your room! He never goes in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 677

You deserved it 5 037

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Same thing different taste

By Ruinedchristmas - 28/11/2014 18:07 - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I came home after doing some Black Friday shopping for Christmas presents. I told my husband I got the must-have toy our daughter has been dying for. As soon as I said it, I heard squealing and turned around to see her standing right behind me. There goes the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 580

You deserved it 13 911

By rozsrredd - 08/07/2014 05:41 - United States - Lancaster

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 060

You deserved it 4 184

Stunned silence

By Anonymous - 20/12/2014 22:42 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, my 7 year-old daughter loudly asked in the middle of a supermarket, "Mummy, what's a cunt?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 184

You deserved it 3 914

By KittyKat - 03/11/2013 14:22 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, my husband was getting undressed. I told my 2-year-old daughter not to go in our bedroom because he was undressing in there. I turned my back and she instantly ran off to my bedroom. I heard her shout "I can see daddy's tail!" Now, she points to everyone's crotch and shouts "TAIL!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 7 099

Goals!

By faitesdesgosses - 19/05/2014 14:27 - France - Mantes-la-ville

Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 194

You deserved it 7 131

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 2 556

Not now!

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was in a department store with my three year old daughter to buy some new jeans. I took her into the dressing room with me and as I began to take off my pants she yells, "Mommy, you can't go peepee in here!!" I am no longer welcome in that particular store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 394

You deserved it 3 864

By junkie - 18/12/2012 18:28 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, I hid my weed stash in a bag from an expensive jewellery store. My sister walked into my room, went "Ooh, what's this?" and grabbed the bag. I grabbed it back and ad-libbed that it was her Christmas gift. Now I actually have to buy her expensive jewellery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 127

You deserved it 64 384

By Herdad - 30/07/2009 11:34 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 051

You deserved it 3 694

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 20:36 - United States

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 459

You deserved it 5 206

Lancerman7449 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 20:06

this fml makes no sense. its not like anyone in the store knew what she was talkin about.

shmoop 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 20:08

i honestly don't understand what this is talking about and why it's an FML...

Comments

besad_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 21:01

My friend is a single child and her parents sleep in different rooms. She keeps praying that she'll have younger sister but she won't get one. We're 11 and i don't want to tell her how you get a baby. :/

YDIBITCHES 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 7:35

You're suposed to be 13or+ bitch

wassssssssom 0

Wednesday 24 November 2010 13:35

jeez they're only eleven #47... but how did #16 get on fml if ur not 13+?

jgduplante 9

Thursday 13 September 2012 8:56

Just because they sleep in different rooms doesn't mean they'll never have sex...

Nakedsquirrel 5

Saturday 12 September 2009 21:15

Don't really see the FML, since there's not much to be embarassed about. No ******* in a marriage does suck though. Work on that.

Thespade_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 21:21

#20 yessssssssssss And btw it would of been more embarsing if ur kid said it visa versa.

dedalus_fml 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 21:19

^ Can't someone at FML nix this s**thead?

guitarman78965 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 21:40

How is this an FML?!?!?!?!

Starchild21 3

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:11

Why do they have separate rooms? ______________________________ www.myspace.com/rapid99

Intoxicunt 5

Sunday 13 September 2009 0:04

No one said they did. A lot of unhappy couples have the pissed person sleep on the couch.

YDIBITCHES 0

Sunday 13 September 2009 7:38

Maybe the dad just works all day and comes back at midnight when the daughter is asleep and leaves early and has sex at night. Duhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CyclonePsycho 1

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:17

As I was reading this FML, I was hoping your daughter didn't say '******'.That was a pretty close guess, wasn't it?

CosmicPossum 2

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:23

Some couples have separate rooms because one's a light sleeper or snores loudly, or because of different work shifts, or for any other number of reasons. Edit: Err, this was supposed to be in response to #23.

whyowhy26 3

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:48

was thinking the same.

_electricbonbon 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 22:25

...what?

InfamyX13 0

Saturday 12 September 2009 23:26

Oooh need some ice for that burn? Lol sorry I had to say it though. Hmm if you two have seperate rooms then its fine. If you guys simply arent having sex or spending time together..FYL. Pretty much means somethings wrong in your marriage that should be fixed.