Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the... - FML

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 104

You deserved it 2 484

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 864

You deserved it 4 377

By No-Sleep Nellie - 07/07/2015 13:26 - United States - Waterloo

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 1 721

By TordNorski - 04/05/2016 17:44 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 911

You deserved it 1 127

By annoyed - 20/02/2013 20:33 - United States - Paradise Valley

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 199

You deserved it 2 770

Confinement is rough

By daisythebunny1988 - 25/03/2020 05:15

Today, my mother is snoring so loud that I can still hear her with the door shut and with earplugs in. So much for sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 144

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

Living in a treehouse?

By Outandaway - 27/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 110

Nice…

By MexyBoy - 11/06/2019 16:08

Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 895

You deserved it 303

Chill out, mom

By chasingcars0624 - 28/08/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 13 190

By SleepyMommy - 08/05/2016 17:05 - United States - Pomona

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 428

You deserved it 1 071

Next

Top comments

TheresNoEffingwa 7

Friday 25 November 2011 19:00

The ****?

kooner55 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:00

Extreme owling

Comments

krushr 3

Friday 25 November 2011 19:15

If you're an owl, don't be alarmed. This is perfectly normal. If not, plan your escape. Your mother is cuckoo bananas.

Angelice_fml 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:16

At least you can afford bacon.

upyourzlolz 11

Friday 25 November 2011 19:21

I don't give a hoot about your problem. Bad puns? I know.

scoop15928 4

Friday 25 November 2011 19:22

My mom does this to the sound of a coyote sometimes. Maybe there is a club or something where people meet up and make animal noises early in the morning.

21jason 9

Friday 25 November 2011 19:23

Early bird to rise gets the field mice

Skittlepickle 13

Friday 25 November 2011 19:25

Was she owling?

Capt_Oblivious 10

Friday 25 November 2011 19:27

Whoo woke you up?

NarwhalKing 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:29

Please explain to her the REAL definition of owling

CoolRainbowdash 15

Friday 25 November 2011 19:31

She was telling a boy how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop

KiddNYC1O 20

Friday 25 November 2011 19:41

Post-Thanksgiving norm.

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The Top

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 101

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 208

You deserved it 3 593

The Top

Today, my assistant manager was arguing with a customer. I interjected letting the customer know that "we want everything to be copacetic." After the customer left, I received a write up for using "big words." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 900

You deserved it 5 411

Today, to teach my 14-year-old son a serious lesson for bullying a child at school again, I grounded him for the rest of the year. He just snorted and said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year then! Thanks, mum!" and happily retreated to his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 630

You deserved it 9 130

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 845

You deserved it 3 964

Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 633

You deserved it 44 313

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 079

You deserved it 1 840

Today, I was at the doctor's getting a pap smear and she asked if it was alright if a doctor in training could come in to observe. I was already laying on the table with my feet in the stirrups, so everything was in plain sight. When the man came in to observe, I looked up to see my brother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 656

You deserved it 2 888