Miscellaneous: Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the...

By tireedddddd - 25/11/2011 16:24 - United States

Today, I was woken up at 6am to the sound of my mother on the back deck of the house hooting like an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 104

You deserved it 2 484

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 864

You deserved it 4 377

By No-Sleep Nellie - 07/07/2015 13:26 - United States - Waterloo

Today, my mother woke me up by loudly vacuuming the house. I had to work the next morning, so I asked her what she was thinking. She told me that if I was really tired and needed sleep, I wouldn't have woken up. It was 3 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 937

You deserved it 1 721

By TordNorski - 04/05/2016 17:44 - United States - Mission Viejo

Today, I finally had a day off in two weeks and I was excited about getting to sleep in. At 5am, my mom came in and knocked loudly. When I asked her what she wanted, she said she was checking to see if I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 911

You deserved it 1 127

By annoyed - 20/02/2013 20:33 - United States - Paradise Valley

Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 199

You deserved it 2 770

Confinement is rough

By daisythebunny1988 - 25/03/2020 05:15

Today, my mother is snoring so loud that I can still hear her with the door shut and with earplugs in. So much for sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 457

You deserved it 144

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

Living in a treehouse?

By Outandaway - 27/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was gently awoken by my daylight alarm clock. So were about 15 wasps that had started building their nest underneath my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 110

Nice…

By MexyBoy - 11/06/2019 16:08

Today, I wanted to do something nice for my mom. So, while she was sleeping, I cleaned the whole house for her and even made her breakfast. A few minutes later, she came downstairs and yelled at me to keep it down because she was trying to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 895

You deserved it 303

Chill out, mom

By chasingcars0624 - 28/08/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 13 190

By SleepyMommy - 08/05/2016 17:05 - United States - Pomona

Today, my husband was going to let me sleep in for Mother's Day. That would have been great, if my brother didn't call me at 5:30 in the morning to say Happy Mother's Day. Now I'm up like any other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 428

You deserved it 1 071

TheresNoEffingwa 7

Friday 25 November 2011 19:00

The ****?

kooner55 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:00

Extreme owling

Comments

thebransan 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:02

Fun mom huh

justcallmebro 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:03

Did she forget to take her meds?

jackassiddy 8

Friday 25 November 2011 19:03

you will thank her when the owl delivering your acceptance letter to hogwarts finally arrives..

whyask 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:03

Was She Drunk ?

leogirl95 12

Friday 25 November 2011 19:44

No shit.

boredblonde 17

Friday 25 November 2011 19:06

Interesting parents > boring parents

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Friday 25 November 2011 19:25

Well I for one agree with this. If my mom did this I would have either given her a high five or challenged her to a contest.

SilverInGray 25

Friday 25 November 2011 20:19

I'd rather have a boring parent.

ninjabird1 0

Friday 25 November 2011 19:06

It could be some sort of tribal ritual... lol if not, there's a good chance that she's on something.

Baytheshark 14

Friday 25 November 2011 19:07

Wow. Just wow. Wow. Really?

sexynarwhal 6

Friday 25 November 2011 19:07

CALL OF THE WILD!!!!!

DJJuantioFresh 0

Friday 25 November 2011 20:45

That was a terrible book!

MyPetNinja 14

Friday 25 November 2011 19:10

She's just trying to be one with nature.

thisiswilli_fml 5

Friday 25 November 2011 19:14

Is it me, or the ads are getting really annoying on the main FML page !!!

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The Top

Today, after 5 hours of attempting to sleep, I began to finally drift off. Then, some fuckwit who'd parked his car right outside my door took 20 minutes to switch his alarm off. I have to be up in about 4 hours, after a 12-hour night shift, heading into another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 640

You deserved it 117

Today, there are rumors flying around my office that I hooked up with the guy who picks his nose and leaves boogers under tables. I didn't. Last night I took a shower at my boyfriend's place, who happens to use the exact same body wash and shampoo as the office outcast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 208

You deserved it 3 593

The Top

Today, my wife gave me back my camera which she took on vacation to visit her parents with our 2-year old. I noticed the picture sequence had big gaps in the numbering. I ran an undelete on the card, and found 80+ pictures of her naked with another guy in her mom's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 560

You deserved it 5 488

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 868

You deserved it 55 561

Today, my neighbours knocked to complain about the noise. I have been nursing a headache for the past several weeks while they have been slamming doors and arguing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 052

You deserved it 245

Today, I found out that the drop dead gorgeous fun bubbly woman I hit it off with is actually a disgusting, scheming whore who seduces married men, then blackmails them for money. I can’t afford to pay her, nor can I afford my wife to find out. I’m screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 1 867

Today, after my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer, I'd packed my belongings and quit my job to go help my mom take care of him. Now she's had a stroke, so I spend my days/nights taking care of both of them. The thing is, I have 3 siblings that live within 5 miles that can't lift a finger to help. I love my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 96

Today, my wife and I drove two hours from our rural town to buy a new sofa. When we got home, it took us an hour to figure out there was no way to fit it through our door. We made the two hour drive back to return it, only to find the store was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 049

You deserved it 9 861

Same thing different taste

Confinement is rough

Living in a treehouse?

Nice…

Chill out, mom

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