Poopoo peepee and Love: Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon...

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By SprinklerDodger - 08/06/2012 23:54 - Denmark - Odense

Today, I was woken up by a noise coming from the bathroom. Upon investigation, I discovered my very drunk, giggling girlfriend attempting to urinate standing up. Carefully note the word "attempting". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 724

You deserved it 2 426

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Same thing different taste

By gp28 - 18/02/2010 20:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 936

You deserved it 4 012

Completely wet

By Anonymous - 27/02/2020 20:00

Today, I was drinking too much and I have to pee constantly, so I went to bed without my girlfriend. Hours later she woke me up wanting sex, but she realized that I pissed the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 2 048

By jessefonsexy. - 07/12/2010 11:08 - United States

Today, I was trying to go to sleep when I heard my sister come home from the bar. I fell asleep and woke up an hour later to see my sister squatting in my dresser drawer. I asked her what she was doing and she said "I'm peeing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 2 779

By locksmack - 14/06/2009 12:46 - Australia

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 900

You deserved it 58 068

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 795

You deserved it 298

By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 690

You deserved it 4 577

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 943

You deserved it 23 223

By Fark - 27/05/2010 22:50 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 331

You deserved it 4 964

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 995

You deserved it 4 323

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 2 093

NothingsEasy 4

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:17

And that's why you don't over drink ladies and gentleman

yoursucklives 36

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:16

that was bound to fail.

Comments

DogsPaw 16

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:31

This + OPs name made me laugh.

onelove858 5

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:37

She is pissing her life away.

hecallsmedarlin 7

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:33

If this was suppose to be a pun it was a bad one

liscentious23 1

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:39

Can you do better?

KeyboardWarrior 10

Saturday 9 June 2012 19:31

Don't challenge him, or urine for some trouble...

MEM0817 18

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:37

At least she attempted to urinate standing up in the bathroom and not the closet or else where... She got half of it right at least!

downtime 12

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:42

...You've been drinking haven't you.

lowshadows 21

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:52

well that was a failed attempt. makes me glad Imma dude.

DogsPaw 16

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:54

Holding down Liquor... She is, now if she was pissing and throwing up your comment would be relevant.

KKC74 0

Saturday 9 June 2012 9:56

Hah! I've done that before! (not drunk)

DjeePee 24

Saturday 9 June 2012 11:58

Me too. Made me feel so awesome, peeing in a park a night, all while standing up. Unfortunately, it's a lot less fun when you pee on your shoes.

fiveofhearts 3

Saturday 9 June 2012 13:58

Question. Successful or not?

CastleHCP 1

Saturday 9 June 2012 10:14

Your pissed girlfriend pissed you off in an attempt to piss. Puns aside, OP, that whole situation is rather hilarious. You should have run for the camcorder. America's Funniest Home Videos pays people for that kind of stuff. Women should not try to piss standing up. It's just one of those things that men were always meant to be able to do better. No offense to women, we're just designed for it. Just like guys can't eject blood through their vaginas once a month.