Intimacy: Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue...

By lizownsvirgy - 07/07/2011 19:49 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 296

You deserved it 5 465

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 952

You deserved it 2 841

Rude awakening

By Alex - 22/02/2022 00:01

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 230

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 038

You deserved it 3 518

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 530

You deserved it 3 370

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 21:13 - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 896

You deserved it 3 379

By Anonymous - 26/04/2014 11:36 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 390

You deserved it 3 974

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 603

You deserved it 211

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 202

You deserved it 3 230

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 994

You deserved it 5 285

strawberrydreams 18

Thursday 7 July 2011 23:51

That's totally not disturbing at all.

Sassybq1 13

Thursday 7 July 2011 23:51

O_O hey be lucky it was someone you knew.......even though that's still pretty creepy lol. sorry chica. FYL.

Comments

CryMoreFMLs 14

Friday 8 July 2011 0:00

Grats, I'm about to hit 400 or so.

nixter5 18

Friday 8 July 2011 0:01

If you aren't a girl, I'd run far, far away!!

katiabasketball 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:01

that's nasty ewww haha

SleepOnStones 5

Friday 8 July 2011 0:03

Time to start sleeping with a gun under your pillow

token308 2

Saturday 9 July 2011 21:26

#38 Agreed

richard121212 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:04

aww, a brothers love. :)

hellojuicyhello 5

Friday 8 July 2011 0:04

oh man u guys must of been hella fuked up. Eww...

shootintacos 0

Friday 8 July 2011 1:01

nice rack

chaoticnh 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 1:43

nice pic ;)

Keyman1212 14

Friday 8 July 2011 0:05

That's some Wincest! or losecest for the OP...

karlijn 4

Friday 8 July 2011 0:06

it's okay when he's cute. is he cute?

karmennn 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:08

how's that okay?

richard121212 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:12

I agree with #50

richard121212 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:22

*53

BigDave81 0

Friday 8 July 2011 7:22

your ugly. hush

karmennn 0

Friday 8 July 2011 0:07

creepy.

saraheve1188 5

Friday 8 July 2011 0:07

Sucks for you...If anything, at least it wasn't your biological brother.

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Shoes Relatable Cars Insurance Transportation Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Awkward Clumsy Food Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 579

You deserved it 44 862

Today, I parked my motorcycle in a parking spot. When I came back, my bike had been moved and was laying on its side with a note saying, "Sorry I dropped your motorcycle I was trying to move it forward so I could park my car because there weren't any other spots." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 903

You deserved it 6 754

The Top

Today, I was told by my best friend and roommate of 7 years that I’m a selfish asshole. Why? I won’t get over the fact that she’s dating my ex, who I was with for 10 years and had 3 kids with. We broke up because he proposed, and then cheated while she was in the house 3 days later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 225

Today, my girlfriend has spent months convincing me to let her have a go driving my Mercedes, and like a fool I gave in and let her drive it once round the street. She didn’t make it 12 inches before she reversed it into the gate post, denting the body, and destroying the paintwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 415

Today, I'm waiting for the second evaluator to accept my master's thesis so I can graduate. If my grade isn't submitted by the end of the week, my credits will expire, which will have consequences for my job. The evaluator is the same woman who graded essays from the beginning of the college year at the end of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 122

Today, my boyfriends mom walked in on us having sex. She is partially blind so she couldn’t tell what was going on. She had a full conversation while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 156

You deserved it 891

Today, I was trying to ease off a caffeine headache. I ended up getting a Brain Freeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 334

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 170

You deserved it 3 328

Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

That's that, then

Top comments

Comments