Transportation: Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 00:55 - United States

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 790

You deserved it 2 796

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Same thing different taste

Good one, thanks

By RYZILLAHitZ - 30/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 066

You deserved it 5 761

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie, my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely look like the Antichrist, and I'm a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 539

You deserved it 4 745

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 599

You deserved it 32 263

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 208

You deserved it 2 595

Alexa, play "A Forest" by The Cure

By JesusLaidAnEgg - 10/09/2019 14:02

Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 248

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 560

You deserved it 2 265

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 22:37 - United States - Denison

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 178

You deserved it 4 399

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 737

You deserved it 8 479

By Ariel_Mariaa - 04/11/2011 23:25 - Canada

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 529

You deserved it 4 286

By FathersDay - 22/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 413

You deserved it 21 061

aeshleyrose 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:04

I see years of therapy in your future.

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:21

Tell him in that 15 minutes you were sodomized, forced to smoke crack, shoot up heroin, give a homeless guy a BJ, did 15 jumping jacks, got a pedicure and you're pregnant with the liquor store clerks baby.

Comments

HSOMGF 5

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:15

Your dad is a huge **** for doing that.

perdix 29

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:18

Are you named Damien? Maybe you suddenly scared the shit out of him.

elliewantscake 8

Wednesday 1 February 2012 17:27

Haha that was my ex's name and he scared the shit out of me...

silentbutfunny 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:19

You should serve him pancakes with a huge grin.

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:21

silentbutfunny 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:26

Well, you beat my comment :/

The_Tool1 13

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:36

That happened to me once, but then I woke up

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:25

... being pregnant, high as shit, and with nice nails too. You had no period at the end so I thought I would finish the sentence for you. No need to thank me.

Ins_Knie 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:47

Of course you don't have a period when pregnant. lol

silentbutfunny 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:57

*facepalm*

julz0125 5

Saturday 21 January 2012 11:22

Look again dummy there's a period there

humorizer 14

Saturday 21 January 2012 20:28

^ Dear dummy, try using reading comprehension. She wasn't talking about the post that you're looking at.

Maxgolub 13

Saturday 21 January 2012 20:49

Lol, OP's father would die xD

Victoria16_fml 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:23

Your dads a dick.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:23

You just stepped into WEST SIIIDE, ESE! Where you from, vato?!?

LookOnBrightSide 12

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:27

21-Apparently, OP's from New York. What park of New York, I have no idea. I did enjoy reading your comment in a Mexican accent.

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:25

I almost lost my fudge when I saw the originals, Omen I & 2, back to back, when I was 9 yrs old!

123ilovejustinb 12

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:32

You stayed in the same spot for 15 minutes?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:46

..or a congressman/-woman who would come up with bullshit equal or greater than SOPA/Protect IP.

Ins_Knie 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:05

How would dad otherwise know where to pick her up?

MrSassypants 32

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:32

*Thinks critically* YES IT DIED!

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 21 January 2012 7:40

Critical thinking was bloody murdered in a gory fashion by street gangs and idiots in their attempt to dominate the world.

Ins_Knie 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 8:18

32/36 - first of all the original comment 24 was a question, not a made up detail. Secondly, driving far away increases the chances of not finding her IF she walks. Thirdly, if he follows and she walks, she'd probably spot him earlier. Therefore she probably stayed put and dad just went around the block and parked. YOU tell ME about critical thinking?

Ins_Knie 2

Saturday 21 January 2012 15:41

Your insults certainly make good arguments. Hmmm, so the car is silent. I'm sure she doesn't look whether she's being stalked at walking speed... Any survival guide recommends staying put if you depend on being rescued.