Intimacy: Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I...

By paulwatson93 - 17/05/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 361

You deserved it 51 851

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Same thing different taste

By lexiiiiiiweee - 19/02/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 666

You deserved it 3 837

By moobysrocks - 20/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 082

You deserved it 9 639

By oogabooga9 - 08/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 4 370

By nothing - 18/05/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 682

You deserved it 56 763

By weldingmachine217 - 16/11/2015 21:47 - United States - Blanchard

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 257

You deserved it 3 645

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 557

Pinned

By STRIKE! - 12/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 129

My greatest party trick [DEROGATORY]

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 514

By BabeRuth - 20/09/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 037

You deserved it 47 822

By owmyballs - 17/12/2009 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 084

You deserved it 37 275

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:11

What a crushing story!

anorexicbarbie 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:10

It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?

Comments

Nhk_fml 4

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:24

Hahahahaha I was having the shittiest day but that made me laugh

notsocrazee 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:33

60-I faved this just because of your comment. literally made me LOL.

issoz 10

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:36

You're such a baller!

shanks0341 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:39

man u must be super man to be able to spin bowling balls on the tips of your fingers... I say fake

lakaiskate 12

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:42

I feel his pain. No one deserves to have their nuts crushed.

nonigz 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:47

rofl dumbass

KickItHigh 32

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:50

Why do they even sell alcohol at bowling places... They should know this type of thing is going to happen. But still YDI.

DjeePee 24

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:52

Because some people can drink responsible. That's why.

mfmylifesrsly 29

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:54

lmao I agree 79 it's good his nuts got crushed cause idiots like him don't deserve to reproduce

Hidan_fml 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 15:54

Are you just that retarded or did you have to work hard for it?

The_Great_Zucchi 15

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:16

Just for future reference, it's not just the heavy shiny balls and alcohol you should be careful with. The hairy kind are a no no too...

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The Top

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year-old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 391

You deserved it 115 808

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I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 625

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 755

You deserved it 178

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I agree, your life sucks 14 200

You deserved it 34 249

Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 489

You deserved it 19 595

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I agree, your life sucks 52 841

You deserved it 4 118

Today, as I was getting ready for work, I heard a noise almost like someone was puking all over the bathroom floor. When I went to check, my 14-year-old son was puking all over the bathroom floor. The toilet, however, was pristine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 645

You deserved it 959

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 617

You deserved it 16 715

Same thing different taste

Party hard

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My greatest party trick [DEROGATORY]

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