Intimacy: Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I...

By paulwatson93 - 17/05/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 361

You deserved it 51 851

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By lexiiiiiiweee - 19/02/2010 22:00 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my friends. As I was about to take my turn, my friend came up behind me and yelled in my ear, "Don't mess up!" Startled, I dropped the ball on my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 666

You deserved it 3 837

By moobysrocks - 20/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out bowling. The place was not only packed, but on my very first attempt, I stumbled and landed flat on my "sugarbuns" about 6 feet down the lane. Everyone pointed and laughed hysterically, including my girlfriend, who was on the floor almost in tears, enjoying my pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 082

You deserved it 9 639

By oogabooga9 - 08/11/2017 15:00

Today, I was clearing out the garage when a large bouncy ball rolled into the drive. Only when I blasted it full force with my foot and collapsed did I realise it was actually a bowling ball. Two of my toes are broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 4 370

By nothing - 18/05/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I went bowling. The guy at the lane next to us was bowling by himself and had a few of his own bowling balls, and he had one that looked like a yin-yang and it looked very cool spinning down the lane into the pins. Not really thinking, I casually said to him "Hey, I like your balls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 682

You deserved it 56 763

By weldingmachine217 - 16/11/2015 21:47 - United States - Blanchard

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 257

You deserved it 3 645

Party hard

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I was playing beer pong at a party and managed to get the ball in a cup. I jumped a little bit in excitement and somehow managed to fracture my foot while doing so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 557

Pinned

By STRIKE! - 12/11/2022 07:00 - United States

Today, I found out how it feels to drop a bowling ball on your foot. Spoiler: It doesn't feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 129

My greatest party trick [DEROGATORY]

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 16:00 - Ireland

Today, I was drunkenly showing my juggling skills at a party with three apples. I nailed it until one flew out of my hand, hit a guest in the face, and knocked their drink all over the host’s new beige couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77

You deserved it 514

By BabeRuth - 20/09/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, I thought it would be cool to hit a basketball with a baseball bat. Ended up in the ER with seven stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 037

You deserved it 47 822

By owmyballs - 17/12/2009 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 084

You deserved it 37 275

redbluegreen 40

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:11

What a crushing story!

anorexicbarbie 8

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:10

It took you two crushed nuts to find that out?

Comments

Riddles66 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:45

You sound like my friends dad... that was one classic day :D

Troll_Doll 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:45

Life's like a box of chocolates. At least you know what you're gonna get, nut-free.

Wheredidgrungego 12

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:50

Holy shit. This made me cringe and grab my balls to make sure they were okay. Worst visual image ever.

e2m2cent 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 12:53

well u ballsed that up :)

CloudEnvy 17

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:02

Surely even the drunk don't deserve such a crushing failure.

TabzTheLoserKidd 4

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:05

Tsk Tsk!

Jamialia 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:11

HA!!!

iLazy 0

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:18

epic fail?

CarleeBugg123 5

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:21

Well that's graceful!

cab227 2

Tuesday 17 May 2011 13:24

obviously you don't think when drunk.

OCDC 9

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:21

Obviously NOBODY thinks when they're drunk.

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, my husband has been out partying all night. While my in-laws didn't ask him a single question, earlier I received more than six calls from them about when I'll be home to cook and clean. Where was I? In the office for the first time after working from home for past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 111

Well. I must admit when I first received today's illustration, seeing the massive pliers pop out kind of freaked me out. Then I reached the last panel and I'm not sure if it's out of anxiety relief or what, but I laughed so hard I might have choked a...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 662

You deserved it 6 361

Today, my husband explained that talking to me makes him miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 215

Today, I have come to the point in my life where I need to Google how to stop excessive back sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 568

You deserved it 3 586

Today, I got my septum piercing stuck in a bag of cinnamon pine cones at Target. My boyfriend was wearing a red shirt with khaki pants, so all the other shoppers probably thought I'd had to call a Target employee over to "cut" me out of the bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 745

You deserved it 1 566

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 898

You deserved it 12 625

Today, I was getting it on with a girl I've been talking to for three months. She's a year younger than me and it was her first time. So, I went easy. After five minutes she started crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that I reminded her of her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 424

You deserved it 7 422

Same thing different taste

Party hard

Pinned

My greatest party trick [DEROGATORY]

Top comments

Comments