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By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Spicy
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 901
You deserved it 9 247
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Top comments

MrHotShot22 6

well I mean....it can shoot at you so maybe it is.

425 6
whostolemylama 12

It's not your fault, since its your first time, you don't know what the guy's sex rhythm is. FYL , that was a DICK thing to say.

374 17

Comments

billyz77 24

Your boyfriend needs a lesson in manners. Until he learns to show you some respect, tell him he can suck his own dick.

93 5
Flora_fml 6

Time to get a new boyfriend. This one is a literal dick.

35 8
SammyS2012 21

He could very well be a literal dick. That could be his name :D

0 2
buckdharma 37

Ask him why he keeps cleaning his weapon.

3 7
TwoOneFive 11

Have you been practicing on shotguns?

0 13
martin_martian7 11

He must not like teasers

1 4
rebelliousshroom 12

Am I missing a reference? Your sucking was similar to how one sucks a shotgun..? I don't get it. Or did he think you acted like you were afraid of it..? What a strange thing to say. Anyway, what an idiot, he could have just directed you a little. He should obviously treat you with more respect, but it would have been in his self interest as well to teach you. I hope he apologizes profusely when he cools down a little. If not, I would reconsider the relationship.

37 3
enormouselephant 15

I could be wrong but I think her boyfriend was trying to tell her not to be scared of being shot. She doesn't need to be so careful- it won't kill her. Either way he's an asshole!

20 4