Intimacy: Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down...

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 842

You deserved it 13 054

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 419

You deserved it 6 035

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 332

You deserved it 3 190

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 020

You deserved it 4 136

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 145

You deserved it 10 357

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 819

You deserved it 10 200

By checkup - 15/07/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 316

You deserved it 5 082

Boredom

By alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 809

You deserved it 52 065

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 488

You deserved it 11 466

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 213

You deserved it 3 769

Comeback

By sadguy - 18/02/2009 22:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 121

You deserved it 23 264

Steffi3 40

Friday 31 January 2014 19:04

Because obviously going down on someone doesn't count as cheating. Wait...

selfsabotage 4

Friday 31 January 2014 19:04

Wonder how her boyfriend would feel about his girlfriends "loyalty". Sucks to be you dude but if this is the girl of your dreams I would think you know enough about her to know she had a boyfriend.

Comments

gAt_d 26

Saturday 1 February 2014 22:58

I've always heard eatin' ain't cheatin', she obviously believes it!

happyfingers 15

Sunday 2 February 2014 0:23

My opinion on this varies. If you knew she had a boyfriend YDI. If not then FYL. Either way she's a bitch and you need a new "dream girl."

blackunicorntear 8

Sunday 2 February 2014 1:03

Why didn't you have the condom ready? Your fault you couldn't seal the deal? Obviously she got bored and grew a conscious.

Razell 13

Sunday 2 February 2014 2:36

"conscience". Also, getting bored =/= the sudden realization that one's actions are morally wrong. If she had "grown a conscious" that would mean (more or less) that she had woken up either from sleep or from a drugged state, which would put the OP in a completely different type of trouble.

richardcard82 5

Sunday 2 February 2014 4:08

Doesn't matter ate snatch

BrotherPhil 35

Sunday 2 February 2014 11:25

Oral isn't sex, according to former President Clinton. You should have got her to return the favour.

bluestar_fml 12

Sunday 2 February 2014 17:18

Seriously? If this is the girl of your dreams, you need to reconsider. Not only does this "dream girl"sound like a total bitch, but she is unfaithful. And that sucks for you. If you were aware she had a boyfriend, shame on you. However, if you didn't, that sucks. You can find someone better than that!